Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Uber-Feminist, Pro-Tomboy, Anti-Female Movement

It is appalling how many young girls and even grown women buy into the mistaken belief that motherly, gentle, "girly" girls are weak people and bad things to be. But the belief also goes that quick-tempered, aggressive, loud, immodest "tomboys" are better, because having womanly traits is for some reason wrong, just like boys being into playing war or something is wrong (assuming they're not unhealthily obsessed with it, obviously) but boys playing with dolls and makeup is supposed to be "good".

Women and especially girls often like to call themselves tomboys for rather irrelevant, silly things, like having an interest in sports (when I was in school, almost all of the jock girls WERE into nice hair and clothes), have no interest in fashion/makeup/cooking/child care (If you try not to look like a slob when you go out, you do care about fashion. Makeup isn't so important, but I fail to see how children and making good food are unimportant), don't like to dress up (most people don't). See? Little, general things like that do not make you a tomboy! Tomboys are pretty much men in female bodies, and almost all of the ones I've talked to, heard, or read about seem to have some general hostility towards more feminine girls, which makes sense- they are insecure about their own femininity, so they reject those who embrace it. It does not help at all that our society seems bent on encouraging girls to be boys and vice verse instead of being their natural selves. I've also noticed that a LOT of these tomboy types are very, very catty, judgmental, and even incredibly flirty and heavily desiring to appeal to males (to the point of becoming sex toys for them)- stereotypical "girl" traits. Ironic?

While I'm not into this myself, there is nothing wrong with girls having interests in sports, insects, action films, disinterest in homemaking-type activities or your appearance (though that will matter in situations such as job interviews), and such things typically considered to be what men like (or should like). However, going out of your way to disregard or even mock what is feminine or considered to be so and having an exaggerated interest in the aforementioned masculine activities/beliefs, is not OK. And that, dear people, is exactly what is going on now. Girls and women who embrace their natural, God-given femininity are generally seen as vapid, passive, and less worthy of respect, whereas more masculine, aggressive females are applauded. It is nearly always these females like this that hate lady-likeness, prefer hanging with guys because girls are "too dramatic/catty/random negative trait", and are very bitter and insecure about their own femininity, or, maybe, lack of. Being a lady is all about being motherly. Mothers are supposed to be loving, nurturing, sensitive, and gently stern. I'm sorry but, how in any faint way could any of those traits possibly be bad?

I think a small part of this problem- or maybe large, who knows?- has to do with the fact that many, many films centering around high school life have depicted the mean girls as being "girly". You know, their hair and makeup are always perfect, they're well-dressed, usually willing to fight over guys. (This stereotype, save for the last one obviously, is subjective, and therefore, not very true, in my opinion. The mean girls I went to school with had horrible clothes from Hollister and I couldn't stand their hairstyles and makeup! But you get the point.) But we can only control Hollywood so much, or even attempt to do so. Their determination to make things as neutral as possible for men and women is strong, and our half misguided society is buying into it eagerly.
It also doesn't help that men who are into "girl stuff", such as sewing, being well-dressed, cooking, being sensitive and quiet, etc. are made fun of. Most women claim they'd like a guy who is like that, but men tend to really snark at other men who are that way, especially younger boys. We need to ask ourselves: why is femininity being insulted? We may have come a long way from sexism in the 60s, but it's taken on a whole new twist now. We are as sexist as ever, if not more. These radical man-hating "feminists" who started the tomboy-worship movement as a way to become "equal" to men by becoming them are turning into what they originally hated in men! You don't need to hate men or call yourself a feminist to be like this; some of my own friends think they're tomboys (they are wrong, for reasons I listed) and some have implied they hate girly girls.

Honestly... that sexist, contrary sort of attitude just makes me want to be even girlier than I am. I already love makeup, cooking, kids, fashion, kawaii stuff, and beauty, and dislike sports and really active things, but it makes me want to not only act more feminine, but become a wife and mom so I can fully epitomize into the feminazi/tomboy antithesis. I am genuinely interested in and proud of being female, but even if this makes me as bad as the feminazis, I can be contrary.

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