Monday, April 11, 2016

The Myth of the Catty Female Part I: Why Do We Love Catfights?

They're everywhere- reality TV (where adults behaving like 5 year olds get rich for it!), action movies, romance novels. Female competition. Girl on girl hate. Drama queens. Whatever you want to call it, we as a society seem to love it. People pay to watch women fight and backstab on shows like those Housewives of _____ and everyone seemed to enjoy a good female fisticuffs in middle or high school at least once- usually over a guy who always seemed to be sitting back enjoying he show, didn't he?

That's just it, isn't it? It's usually to be seen as attractive, the coolest, the best, in some guy's eyes, while he feels like a rockstar for encouraging two girls or women to argue over him (not all guys do this, I realize, and obviously not all women argue just over a guy!). God told Eve she would always "desire her husband". I don't think He necessarily meant sexually. I think the curse of human women is that as a whole, we're unnecessarily driven to seek male approval and attention. And yes, I mean "curse". It is in no way a good thing to obsess or fight over anyone's approval, regardless of their sex.

Sometimes, as I stated, this leads some immature women to do immature things for a guy. I know it can be a huge ego boost when you're the lucky lady. Immature guys may attempt to compliment you by saying you're "not like other girls", which may make said immature woman feel special. While Nice Guys who aren't all aggressive, stupid, and macho like Those Other Guys and love to hear you talk about your feelings and life because they're so sensitive do exist, they seem to in smaller groups, and they aren't usually as discussed or valued as the Guy's Girl (which I shall refer to her as from now on).

Why? Why is it men's opinions seem to be valued over women's? Again, the Bible speaks the truth, though I also have to somewhat agree with feminists that society just tends to prefer masculinity over femininity in most ways, despite the very feminist direction the West is heading into.

So, back to the catfights. I don't know about you, but I hate them. I love other women and wish I had a ton of them as best friends. Female friends as just the best. I think our general dislike of conflict makes them good listeners who are less likely to judge, usually, and they can give some of the most soothing words and sensible advice without coming off as lecturing you. They're fun, and they get why staying up late making a junk food smorgasbord to go with a Disney marathon and window shopping and trying to make new desserts (sometimes unsuccessfully) and having those deep conversations about life at 3 AM are some of the best ways to bond. I, personally, just relate to other girls better than guys. I've tried befriending some guys, but it rarely worked. If they didn't move away, they turned out to be judgmental jerks or tried to date me instead. That's my experience though; I know many guy friends rock! Just remember men are no more perfect than women are. They judge, start fights, and break off relationships for petty reasons, too.

I forget where I read this, but in some book years ago the author mentioned how two girls who from different countries and shared no common language could bond within- what, an hour? Whether or not it's factually true, I've seen similar things happen. Women love to connect. Our bonds we form with one another can be some of the strongest on earth. Which is absolutely not to knock men as friends or friendships between men. But female friends at just at heart, different from men. And that's OK. They don't need to be the same because they're not.


So many self-contradiction stereotypes and opinions of women that don't match up. I've already written more than I'd originally planned and still havent gotten to some points, so I think a part II is in order. Because this is an issue that's angered me for quite some time, it's rarely discussed much less promoted, and it needs to be said, even if only a few of you will ever read my blog. If it changes even one person's mind, I'll be ecstatic.

Do any of you have female friendships you value? What are some of your favorite female friendships in history? Do you tend to prefer women as friends?
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