Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Uber-Feminist, Pro-Tomboy, Anti-Female Movement

It is appalling how many young girls and even grown women buy into the mistaken belief that motherly, gentle, "girly" girls are weak people and bad things to be. But the belief also goes that quick-tempered, aggressive, loud, immodest "tomboys" are better, because having womanly traits is for some reason wrong, just like boys being into playing war or something is wrong (assuming they're not unhealthily obsessed with it, obviously) but boys playing with dolls and makeup is supposed to be "good".

Women and especially girls often like to call themselves tomboys for rather irrelevant, silly things, like having an interest in sports (when I was in school, almost all of the jock girls WERE into nice hair and clothes), have no interest in fashion/makeup/cooking/child care (If you try not to look like a slob when you go out, you do care about fashion. Makeup isn't so important, but I fail to see how children and making good food are unimportant), don't like to dress up (most people don't). See? Little, general things like that do not make you a tomboy! Tomboys are pretty much men in female bodies, and almost all of the ones I've talked to, heard, or read about seem to have some general hostility towards more feminine girls, which makes sense- they are insecure about their own femininity, so they reject those who embrace it. It does not help at all that our society seems bent on encouraging girls to be boys and vice verse instead of being their natural selves. I've also noticed that a LOT of these tomboy types are very, very catty, judgmental, and even incredibly flirty and heavily desiring to appeal to males (to the point of becoming sex toys for them)- stereotypical "girl" traits. Ironic?

While I'm not into this myself, there is nothing wrong with girls having interests in sports, insects, action films, disinterest in homemaking-type activities or your appearance (though that will matter in situations such as job interviews), and such things typically considered to be what men like (or should like). However, going out of your way to disregard or even mock what is feminine or considered to be so and having an exaggerated interest in the aforementioned masculine activities/beliefs, is not OK. And that, dear people, is exactly what is going on now. Girls and women who embrace their natural, God-given femininity are generally seen as vapid, passive, and less worthy of respect, whereas more masculine, aggressive females are applauded. It is nearly always these females like this that hate lady-likeness, prefer hanging with guys because girls are "too dramatic/catty/random negative trait", and are very bitter and insecure about their own femininity, or, maybe, lack of. Being a lady is all about being motherly. Mothers are supposed to be loving, nurturing, sensitive, and gently stern. I'm sorry but, how in any faint way could any of those traits possibly be bad?

I think a small part of this problem- or maybe large, who knows?- has to do with the fact that many, many films centering around high school life have depicted the mean girls as being "girly". You know, their hair and makeup are always perfect, they're well-dressed, usually willing to fight over guys. (This stereotype, save for the last one obviously, is subjective, and therefore, not very true, in my opinion. The mean girls I went to school with had horrible clothes from Hollister and I couldn't stand their hairstyles and makeup! But you get the point.) But we can only control Hollywood so much, or even attempt to do so. Their determination to make things as neutral as possible for men and women is strong, and our half misguided society is buying into it eagerly.
It also doesn't help that men who are into "girl stuff", such as sewing, being well-dressed, cooking, being sensitive and quiet, etc. are made fun of. Most women claim they'd like a guy who is like that, but men tend to really snark at other men who are that way, especially younger boys. We need to ask ourselves: why is femininity being insulted? We may have come a long way from sexism in the 60s, but it's taken on a whole new twist now. We are as sexist as ever, if not more. These radical man-hating "feminists" who started the tomboy-worship movement as a way to become "equal" to men by becoming them are turning into what they originally hated in men! You don't need to hate men or call yourself a feminist to be like this; some of my own friends think they're tomboys (they are wrong, for reasons I listed) and some have implied they hate girly girls.

Honestly... that sexist, contrary sort of attitude just makes me want to be even girlier than I am. I already love makeup, cooking, kids, fashion, kawaii stuff, and beauty, and dislike sports and really active things, but it makes me want to not only act more feminine, but become a wife and mom so I can fully epitomize into the feminazi/tomboy antithesis. I am genuinely interested in and proud of being female, but even if this makes me as bad as the feminazis, I can be contrary.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Insecurity. Body Image. Bundles of rainbow and sunshine!

Obviously, insecurity and low self-esteem are nothing new, especially among girls. They're not even rare. The causes are usually something along the lines of domestic abuse, teasing in school, seeing those models on the runway or busty airbrushed-looking women in action films and feeling inferior- that sort of thing. But I've noticed the most "confident" girls who show how "proud" they are of their bodies by advertising them in various are nearly always the worse.

From my experience and observations (and seen and experienced this for quite awhile now), it's almost always overweight girls and "curvy" girls. (See pics below. I've already explained the difference between the two. I mean girls that have big boobs, wide hips, and some kind of smaller waist. Or at least they consider themselves curvy.) It's almost ironic. The latter will often claim that men prefer their body type because it's womanly, yet display themselves so much out of a miserable craving for attention.

Marilyn Monroe was/is loved for her body (which, while that was largely her own fault, is very sad), she hated herself. She was infamously insecure and disliked her appearance. I can see why: she was abused as a child, and used sex to get her career. These are both big, shiny, silver keys to insecurity and depression. I think she was unattractive and unhealthy-looking most of the time (obviously and most likely due to her depression) so I can see why she would think meaningless, promiscuous sex would bring her happiness. Girls with big boobs (and little to offer in the face department, especially) tend to use those twins to get what they want in life, quite simply. It's horrible, appalling, and sad, but very, very, very real.

In case you haven't noticed (as in, you don't know me well or somehow missed my layout here), I LOVE Audrey Hepburn. I tend to admire women like her. I can never stop singing her praises. She was the epitome of what I admire and consider beautiful: natural beauty (she needed no makeup to be as pretty as she was with it on, and had naturally nice features), she was the epitome of class and modesty (well, she did have an affair to my knowledge, I was most sorry to hear, but she kept is very quiet and I give her the benefit of the doubt about her salvation), she was exotic in body (healthy, slim, and naturally so! Especially at a time with Marilyn types were the "ideal", and now that obesity is largely what makes up the U.S.), and she took care of herself. See? I can hardly shut up about her. I partly admire her because physically she reminds me of me (elf face, fair, brunette, slim, etc.) but she was such a lady! But while she was, is, and always will be adored for her striking beauty, charming personality, genuine altruism, and films, she, too, suffered from a bad self-image. It could be because her father left her family at a young age (according to Dr. Dobson, girls with their fathers lovingly in their lives are less likely to have low self-esteem- did you know that?) and how her mother kept telling her she was nothing special physically (to keep her humble most likely, but need she have done that in such a cold way?), but who knows? She was insecure, but she never showed it like Marilyn, Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsay Lohan, and hundreds of immodest girls and even women do! But you know what's funny? I see much more women and girls built like those three who like to wear tons of makeup and hair products to 'improve' themselves trying to sell themselves for some much-needed attention than I do slender women, especially healthy ones that never need much makeup to look OK. Butterfaces (good body, bad face) /curvy women usually feel the need to get compliments to make themselves feel more attractive despite so many of them saying their body shapes/types/whatever are the best, yet more natural women who are thin and not so curvy, or just less so. This is NOT to bash curvy girls or praise slim, less-curvy women, but do you see what I'm saying? These women who are apparently less desirable by men (according to women, ironically) are less insecure and most often have more true confidence.

OK, I've ranted about about curvy girls and Audrey long enough. Now, about the fat girls (weird thing to say!)... They generally tend to focus on their boobs (being proud of them, showing them off, saying they're better than smaller sizes, etc.) are amazing and what men want for the exact same reasons the "curvy" girls do, but maybe even more so- because, yes, lots of people do like women with very noticeable curves, and while they are guys out there that genuinely like chubby or obese women, it's pretty safe to say more would prefer slim, curvy Anna types (ignoring the boob job, since, thank the Lord, most men don't like unnecessary surgery, at least when it's that noticeable). They may pretend that curvy means big/fat instead of having a small waist with wide hips and maybe a big chest to go with them, but that's said to sound more pleasing to their own ears. Each case is sad, but it appears to be growing worse as more people enable these types of people, so what on earth can we do? Tell them to keep wearing lots of makeup to hide behind and skimpy clothing since if they "got it" they should "flaunt it"?

I'm sorry if these blog makes me sound bitter or insecure about myself in any way. Truthfully, I can say I am one of the few teen girls I know who doesn't have low self-esteem or a bad outlook on my appearance, and I'm not the first to notice. I'm just disgusted and saddened by all this. Girls with slim frames and small chests (but slim frames and large chests can sometimes get off the hook) aren't allowed to feel good about ourselves because that might make men stop looking at girls like the other two for a second and therefore, cutting off their resource of craved attention that brings them the momentary satisfaction they crave. And no, I fully realize NOT all girls like either shape/type are like this. I've just seen so many. Maybe I just talk to and listen to the wrong people, but in the media, with pictures, videos, movies, interviews, songs, etc.- celebrities or ordinary ones online- where females blatantly toot their own horns and offer their bodies to get noticed, I am gonna see it inevitably. I wish girls would stop listening to the media so much, mainly for pop culture. It is generally shallow, sickly obsessed with immoral things, and nothing else. I wish their parents wouldn't bring problems into their lives and tell and show them as often as they can that they love them and are fine the way they are. I wish more boys would stop fixating on girls looking this way or that way or being this shape or that size and realize that not only are they not high and mighty enough to dictate what beauty and ugliness are objectively, but personality, intelligence, good health, class, and honestly a nice face with little to no makeup are better than cleavage, flirting, and pornstars. And I wish all types of beauty were appreciated, whether or not it's having generic features and DD cups or red hair or Asians or whatever!