Monday, September 6, 2010

Insecurity. Body Image. Bundles of rainbow and sunshine!

Obviously, insecurity and low self-esteem are nothing new, especially among girls. They're not even rare. The causes are usually something along the lines of domestic abuse, teasing in school, seeing those models on the runway or busty airbrushed-looking women in action films and feeling inferior- that sort of thing. But I've noticed the most "confident" girls who show how "proud" they are of their bodies by advertising them in various are nearly always the worse.

From my experience and observations (and seen and experienced this for quite awhile now), it's almost always overweight girls and "curvy" girls. (See pics below. I've already explained the difference between the two. I mean girls that have big boobs, wide hips, and some kind of smaller waist. Or at least they consider themselves curvy.) It's almost ironic. The latter will often claim that men prefer their body type because it's womanly, yet display themselves so much out of a miserable craving for attention.

Marilyn Monroe was/is loved for her body (which, while that was largely her own fault, is very sad), she hated herself. She was infamously insecure and disliked her appearance. I can see why: she was abused as a child, and used sex to get her career. These are both big, shiny, silver keys to insecurity and depression. I think she was unattractive and unhealthy-looking most of the time (obviously and most likely due to her depression) so I can see why she would think meaningless, promiscuous sex would bring her happiness. Girls with big boobs (and little to offer in the face department, especially) tend to use those twins to get what they want in life, quite simply. It's horrible, appalling, and sad, but very, very, very real.

In case you haven't noticed (as in, you don't know me well or somehow missed my layout here), I LOVE Audrey Hepburn. I tend to admire women like her. I can never stop singing her praises. She was the epitome of what I admire and consider beautiful: natural beauty (she needed no makeup to be as pretty as she was with it on, and had naturally nice features), she was the epitome of class and modesty (well, she did have an affair to my knowledge, I was most sorry to hear, but she kept is very quiet and I give her the benefit of the doubt about her salvation), she was exotic in body (healthy, slim, and naturally so! Especially at a time with Marilyn types were the "ideal", and now that obesity is largely what makes up the U.S.), and she took care of herself. See? I can hardly shut up about her. I partly admire her because physically she reminds me of me (elf face, fair, brunette, slim, etc.) but she was such a lady! But while she was, is, and always will be adored for her striking beauty, charming personality, genuine altruism, and films, she, too, suffered from a bad self-image. It could be because her father left her family at a young age (according to Dr. Dobson, girls with their fathers lovingly in their lives are less likely to have low self-esteem- did you know that?) and how her mother kept telling her she was nothing special physically (to keep her humble most likely, but need she have done that in such a cold way?), but who knows? She was insecure, but she never showed it like Marilyn, Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsay Lohan, and hundreds of immodest girls and even women do! But you know what's funny? I see much more women and girls built like those three who like to wear tons of makeup and hair products to 'improve' themselves trying to sell themselves for some much-needed attention than I do slender women, especially healthy ones that never need much makeup to look OK. Butterfaces (good body, bad face) /curvy women usually feel the need to get compliments to make themselves feel more attractive despite so many of them saying their body shapes/types/whatever are the best, yet more natural women who are thin and not so curvy, or just less so. This is NOT to bash curvy girls or praise slim, less-curvy women, but do you see what I'm saying? These women who are apparently less desirable by men (according to women, ironically) are less insecure and most often have more true confidence.

OK, I've ranted about about curvy girls and Audrey long enough. Now, about the fat girls (weird thing to say!)... They generally tend to focus on their boobs (being proud of them, showing them off, saying they're better than smaller sizes, etc.) are amazing and what men want for the exact same reasons the "curvy" girls do, but maybe even more so- because, yes, lots of people do like women with very noticeable curves, and while they are guys out there that genuinely like chubby or obese women, it's pretty safe to say more would prefer slim, curvy Anna types (ignoring the boob job, since, thank the Lord, most men don't like unnecessary surgery, at least when it's that noticeable). They may pretend that curvy means big/fat instead of having a small waist with wide hips and maybe a big chest to go with them, but that's said to sound more pleasing to their own ears. Each case is sad, but it appears to be growing worse as more people enable these types of people, so what on earth can we do? Tell them to keep wearing lots of makeup to hide behind and skimpy clothing since if they "got it" they should "flaunt it"?

I'm sorry if these blog makes me sound bitter or insecure about myself in any way. Truthfully, I can say I am one of the few teen girls I know who doesn't have low self-esteem or a bad outlook on my appearance, and I'm not the first to notice. I'm just disgusted and saddened by all this. Girls with slim frames and small chests (but slim frames and large chests can sometimes get off the hook) aren't allowed to feel good about ourselves because that might make men stop looking at girls like the other two for a second and therefore, cutting off their resource of craved attention that brings them the momentary satisfaction they crave. And no, I fully realize NOT all girls like either shape/type are like this. I've just seen so many. Maybe I just talk to and listen to the wrong people, but in the media, with pictures, videos, movies, interviews, songs, etc.- celebrities or ordinary ones online- where females blatantly toot their own horns and offer their bodies to get noticed, I am gonna see it inevitably. I wish girls would stop listening to the media so much, mainly for pop culture. It is generally shallow, sickly obsessed with immoral things, and nothing else. I wish their parents wouldn't bring problems into their lives and tell and show them as often as they can that they love them and are fine the way they are. I wish more boys would stop fixating on girls looking this way or that way or being this shape or that size and realize that not only are they not high and mighty enough to dictate what beauty and ugliness are objectively, but personality, intelligence, good health, class, and honestly a nice face with little to no makeup are better than cleavage, flirting, and pornstars. And I wish all types of beauty were appreciated, whether or not it's having generic features and DD cups or red hair or Asians or whatever!

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