Do Christian Wives "Owe" Their Husbands Sex?

 I’m not usually one to get up in arms when another Christian thinks something I don’t, and normally I really think this lady is right on (and I do think her intentions are good) but this post just made me a little sick to read, and more so the comments section. I remember also once reading a very fundamental Christian guy flat-out saying on his site that it is indeed a sin to not have sex with your husband.

Because this is a pretty serious topic, I'm going to be blunt here. I don’t care if this offends someone: women and men, you do not “owe” your spouse sex. It is not a “sin” to not want to “pump them dry” as that lady’s husband encourages us to do. It’s not God’s will for you to be a sex slave of any kind. Marriage is about sacrifice and God first, enjoyment second. It isn’t godly to guilt people into sex, telling them they’re being a bad spouse if they don’t feel like hopping into bed every five minutes with you. That's flat-out emotional manipulation.

And what utter nonsense to pretend women have NO temptations! Are you kidding? Like we have never ogled shirtless men? We have temptations with sin, too. Christians, stop treating men as helpless babies who have no self-control and blaming women for them not giving their husbands “enough”. I say this to wives as well but frankly, as much as I hate to admit it, with a lot of Christians it’s usually women they see as responsible for this. And husbands, you, too, are not obliged to feel guilted into doing something you are not up for.

I am not married yet (though I hope one day to be), so I know some might say I have no experience to back this up. Do I really need it to point out sin? I don't think so. It is just selfishness and rigid legalism behind this attitude and I do not believe for a minute one should be married, divorced or single to have the authority to acknowledge this sinful attitude.

The Hatred of Big Families

I'm neither a mom nor am I married. But I can't wait to be. I know any kids, much less lots of them, aren't for everything. Even marriage isn't as popular an idea as it used to be, with the ever-growing divorce rates discouraging people out of commitment. But while we tell each other, "It's OK to not want a family and settle down. Chase your dreams! Do what YOU want and respect others for not wanting to be parents!" we sure don't seem to think that those of us who DO want that deserve to have our choice respected.

I like reading blogs about moms of large families, particularly ones who homeschool. It's so different from what I know and just interesting to learn about, though I personally don't plan to have more than three kids tops. I understand not everyone wants a big family or thinks they can afford one.

But a dislike of multiple kids and suspicion towards adults who want them in our culture has started and just kept growing, it would seem. I often hear mothers of these families talk about the kinds of comments they'd get from friends or even random people at the store:

"Are they ALL yours?"
"You're done having kids now, right?"

And so on.

Some questions are just curious, some are just plain rude and nosy. Strange, for a culture that's always quick to get defensive and say "Who are you to judge? It's none of your business what I do! It's not hurting anyone else!" we don't seem to hold that to big families also. Some people seem to just feel... offended by them.

Why? What's so offensive about many kids? Because unless they can be manipulated for political agendas to garner sympathy, our culture just plain hates children. They're too innocent for its obsession with sex, and most of all, they demand us to sacrifice our own wants for their needs which contradicts the me-first culture here.

Nobody's attacking anyone if they don't want a big family or even kids at all (though I realize some people do get bothered for not having any and they should be left alone too), so why don't we extend the same courtesy to big families?