Insecurity. Body Image. Bundles of rainbow and sunshine!

Obviously, insecurity and low self-esteem are nothing new, especially among girls. They're not even rare. The causes are usually something along the lines of domestic abuse, teasing in school, seeing those models on the runway or busty airbrushed-looking women in action films and feeling inferior- that sort of thing. But I've noticed the most "confident" girls who show how "proud" they are of their bodies by advertising them in various are nearly always the worse.

From my experience and observations (and seen and experienced this for quite awhile now), it's almost always overweight girls and "curvy" girls. (See pics below. I've already explained the difference between the two. I mean girls that have big boobs, wide hips, and some kind of smaller waist. Or at least they consider themselves curvy.) It's almost ironic. The latter will often claim that men prefer their body type because it's womanly, yet display themselves so much out of a miserable craving for attention.

Marilyn Monroe was/is loved for her body (which, while that was largely her own fault, is very sad), she hated herself. She was infamously insecure and disliked her appearance. I can see why: she was abused as a child, and used sex to get her career. These are both big, shiny, silver keys to insecurity and depression. I think she was unattractive and unhealthy-looking most of the time (obviously and most likely due to her depression) so I can see why she would think meaningless, promiscuous sex would bring her happiness. Girls with big boobs (and little to offer in the face department, especially) tend to use those twins to get what they want in life, quite simply. It's horrible, appalling, and sad, but very, very, very real.

In case you haven't noticed (as in, you don't know me well or somehow missed my layout here), I LOVE Audrey Hepburn. I tend to admire women like her. I can never stop singing her praises. She was the epitome of what I admire and consider beautiful: natural beauty (she needed no makeup to be as pretty as she was with it on, and had naturally nice features), she was the epitome of class and modesty (well, she did have an affair to my knowledge, I was most sorry to hear, but she kept is very quiet and I give her the benefit of the doubt about her salvation), she was exotic in body (healthy, slim, and naturally so! Especially at a time with Marilyn types were the "ideal", and now that obesity is largely what makes up the U.S.), and she took care of herself. See? I can hardly shut up about her. I partly admire her because physically she reminds me of me (elf face, fair, brunette, slim, etc.) but she was such a lady! But while she was, is, and always will be adored for her striking beauty, charming personality, genuine altruism, and films, she, too, suffered from a bad self-image. It could be because her father left her family at a young age (according to Dr. Dobson, girls with their fathers lovingly in their lives are less likely to have low self-esteem- did you know that?) and how her mother kept telling her she was nothing special physically (to keep her humble most likely, but need she have done that in such a cold way?), but who knows? She was insecure, but she never showed it like Marilyn, Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsay Lohan, and hundreds of immodest girls and even women do! But you know what's funny? I see much more women and girls built like those three who like to wear tons of makeup and hair products to 'improve' themselves trying to sell themselves for some much-needed attention than I do slender women, especially healthy ones that never need much makeup to look OK. Butterfaces (good body, bad face) /curvy women usually feel the need to get compliments to make themselves feel more attractive despite so many of them saying their body shapes/types/whatever are the best, yet more natural women who are thin and not so curvy, or just less so. This is NOT to bash curvy girls or praise slim, less-curvy women, but do you see what I'm saying? These women who are apparently less desirable by men (according to women, ironically) are less insecure and most often have more true confidence.

OK, I've ranted about about curvy girls and Audrey long enough. Now, about the fat girls (weird thing to say!)... They generally tend to focus on their boobs (being proud of them, showing them off, saying they're better than smaller sizes, etc.) are amazing and what men want for the exact same reasons the "curvy" girls do, but maybe even more so- because, yes, lots of people do like women with very noticeable curves, and while they are guys out there that genuinely like chubby or obese women, it's pretty safe to say more would prefer slim, curvy Anna types (ignoring the boob job, since, thank the Lord, most men don't like unnecessary surgery, at least when it's that noticeable). They may pretend that curvy means big/fat instead of having a small waist with wide hips and maybe a big chest to go with them, but that's said to sound more pleasing to their own ears. Each case is sad, but it appears to be growing worse as more people enable these types of people, so what on earth can we do? Tell them to keep wearing lots of makeup to hide behind and skimpy clothing since if they "got it" they should "flaunt it"?

I'm sorry if these blog makes me sound bitter or insecure about myself in any way. Truthfully, I can say I am one of the few teen girls I know who doesn't have low self-esteem or a bad outlook on my appearance, and I'm not the first to notice. I'm just disgusted and saddened by all this. Girls with slim frames and small chests (but slim frames and large chests can sometimes get off the hook) aren't allowed to feel good about ourselves because that might make men stop looking at girls like the other two for a second and therefore, cutting off their resource of craved attention that brings them the momentary satisfaction they crave. And no, I fully realize NOT all girls like either shape/type are like this. I've just seen so many. Maybe I just talk to and listen to the wrong people, but in the media, with pictures, videos, movies, interviews, songs, etc.- celebrities or ordinary ones online- where females blatantly toot their own horns and offer their bodies to get noticed, I am gonna see it inevitably. I wish girls would stop listening to the media so much, mainly for pop culture. It is generally shallow, sickly obsessed with immoral things, and nothing else. I wish their parents wouldn't bring problems into their lives and tell and show them as often as they can that they love them and are fine the way they are. I wish more boys would stop fixating on girls looking this way or that way or being this shape or that size and realize that not only are they not high and mighty enough to dictate what beauty and ugliness are objectively, but personality, intelligence, good health, class, and honestly a nice face with little to no makeup are better than cleavage, flirting, and pornstars. And I wish all types of beauty were appreciated, whether or not it's having generic features and DD cups or red hair or Asians or whatever!

Christina Hendricks as poster girl for what "real" women are... or are not

Well, it took me long enough to realize who this lady was, but I guess I looked her up a few months ago. She was an actor from the show Mad Men. Known for... are you ready?

Dyed hair and large breasts. ....Yes. She is clearly a breath of fresh, fresh air in the world of Hollywood.

While she may very well be a decent person with nothing worse done than wearing immodest outfits for magazines and sometimes on the red carpet, I can't see how she managed to become such a quick role model for overweight women, or the "sexiest woman alive" or, as the title mentioned, a poster girl for "real" women.

If you remember some of earlier posts about what curves are and are not, you probably also remember that in one of them, I made a reminder that 1) If it's born with lady parts, IT'S A REAL WOMAN. 2) Having large breasts, rolls, or "padding" on you has nothing to do with realness. It means you have a big chest, are overweight, or just have extra "padding" on you. 3) Not to bash her, but she's actually pretty far from "real" if you meant "realistic". Let's look at some examples:

Like most actors, she wears an enormous among of makeup she doesn't need. I don't find her very nice-looking but her face improves with less on, at least without the dramatic styled makeup (which rarely suits anyone anyway). It's pretty clear plastic surgery is involved, even without seeing younger photos of her with a significantly smaller chest (no, her being less skinny now does would not in any way make anyone's chest grow THAT much) but she also wears a very strong corset, padded push-up bras, and flattering dresses, because there's a thing called gravity that large breasts are far from being immune to. I'd also like to see how she looked with her natural blonde hair color, but if she's been dying it since she was young, I doubt it will show if she let her red fade away.

So.... a heavily made-up, airbrushed, dyed, already-huge-chested-plus-the-unneeded-help-of-a-push-up-bra woman is the new ideal and definition of what a real woman is? Can anyone else understand how I'm scared? This is how high and unrealistic the beauty standard is becoming... or standards.
"Curvy" shapes like hers (well, she is actually pear-shaped but  as it's "cooler" to claim you're hourglass shaped, she wants us to think she's hourglass, or else she wouldn't dress like one or buy those breasts) are rare. A lot of women will also not want to be made to feel inferior because their chests, whether A or DD, or not as large as her so-called perfect ones. And by the way, I'm sure that is not what she wants to be known as: a pair of huge breasts that acts sometimes. Granted, she does like to put them on display quite often, which is obviously her own doing, so I hope she doesn't complain when and if no one takes her seriously because they're too busy staring at/fantasizing about those breasts.

I understand NATURALLY big or fat women, few as there are, deserve role models with similar body types/shapes too, but I'm sorry- even though Christina is overweight, she is nothing like this:

She is big, mostly on the bottom, but not this kind of big. She is no more real than any slimmer or smaller-chested women or the woman above.

The true definition of curvy

This is getting very annoying. This, like the words thick, big, voluptuous, etc., are being used to make fat girls feel better about themselves (and as a market ploy that is working brilliantly, I might add) which I think they should if they're healthy, but it's very much incorrectly used, and in doing so, they're making women who are actually curvy (thin women, who are usually curvier-looking since you can see their forms better due to less fat on their frame, and yes, chubby and fat women can be curvy too) sound shapeless by that definition.

Let me start with this: curviness is NOT subjective. Being curvy is not a body type. It's your shape. Your bone structure is what makes you curvy. Saying the word "curvy" is subjective is the exact same as something along this imaginary conversation:

Person A: I think squares are my favorite shape. I love their 4 sides.
Person B: I don't think squares have 4 sides.
Person A: Well, they do. That's a fact.
Person B: NO. Just because squares have four sides to YOU doesn't mean we ALL have to think that. To ME, squares have FIVE sides.
Person A: It doesn't matter what you think it is- a square is SHAPED with 4 sides. You wouldn't say a triangle, meaning 3 sides, had 4 sides, would you?
Person B: Actually, yes. To ME, a triangle has 4 sides. That's just my opinion, though. Now stop forcing your opinion on me.

See what I mean? I've seen (and sometimes been in) countless debates like this. Curvy implies lots of curves (which as I pointed out in my first rant, every woman technically has, but some are more, shall we say, noticeable or prominent than others), especially in an hourglass shape, but pears and cones (which are often confused with hourglasses by people who don't know how to understand women's measurements) can be curvy too, like Jessica Simpson (cone) and Alexis Bledel (pear).  Honestly, do you think this

 looks anything like this?

(Note: While Mo'nique does not in fact have an hourglass- her measurements according to celebrity fashion designer Bradley Bayou- and isn't curvy, this is not a personal jab at her.)

No, it does not. That was only one example but it's a good one. These women have hourglass shapes (and I'm not gonna use the overused, overrated examples like Beyonce, Marilyn Monroe, Christina Hendricks, or Kim Kardashian- the last two who happen to have bought their breasts and Kim, her rear), and yes, these measurements have been checked:

Pear shapes:

Cone shapes:

and for the sake of some bigger ones that still have actually curvy figures (sorry there's only 2, but there actually aren't that many to find):

I could go on, but there are literally tons of slim curvy women. There are actually lots of curvy women (well, maybe not "lots", really, but you get what I mean) besides slim ones, and it has zero to do with how much fat you have or how big your breasts are, as you can see. And let's remember there are multitudes of beautiful women with collumn shapes! It's a pretty common shape, so surely you must like at least one. Reese Witherspoon, Liv Tyler, Charlize Theron, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Coolidge, Demi Moore, there's quite a few stars with 'em.

This "Real women have curves" bullcrap

This "real woman have curves" crap is getting old. All women have curves. Or do you care to deny biology? To prove it, stand against a wall or lie on the floor and trace your shadow. If you can't see the curve, you need some glasses. Curves are NOT fat rolls and huge tits or your dress size; your SHAPE is. And being curvy is not a title just for Marilyn Monroe types (who was pretty unhealthy-looking and fake as it was, but that's off topic). If you mean "fat rolls", for goodness' sake, be honest and just say "fat rolls".





Audrey Hepburn was a cone shape and she had perfect curves, as her hip ratio was .7, clear, plain, obvious curves. And she was pretty slender too. Hourglass figures are not having breeder hips and DD cups. It's having a perfect shoulder to hip ratio (meaning their measurements are the same) with a defined waist. I've checked my own measurements countless times, and while they're tiny, that doesn't matter- I still have an hourglass figure. Proportion is what determines the shape, NOT the SIZE.

Anyway, last I checked, what made a woman a "real" women was having mammary glands and, oh... a vagina, maybe? This new trend of dehumanizing slimmer, smaller-chested girls to make bigger/fat/obese ones feel better about themselves (and if they're healthy they SHOULD, but obviously obesity isn't healthy) is quite twisted. Anorexics have it the worse. They're made out to be these hideous, inhuman monsters with no feelings who act like they're far hotter than anyone else and deserve no respect at all, whereas in reality they're just poor girls with terrible mental disorders who find themselves as ugly as those hateful people call them. I have to question whether or not these (real) monsters who perversely degrade these girls are also the same people who take pleasure in making fun of mentally retarded kids as well.

I'm also sick of this "well, I'd rather be big than a twig" and "real men want meat not bones" or "guys don't want a girl they can snap in half" crap. Firstly, there are grey areas. You're not either chubby or starving-African-child sized. They are so many different sizes, then you have to take height and weight and metabolism into consideration. Is this just another way people (yes, most entirely girls) make themselves feel better? Being tiny doesn't make you a piece of wood or an anorexic (the cool, trendy word for "skinnier than I am", now) And as for the other, that's just awful. Real men do not discriminate against ANY woman for her size, at least, not if she can't help it (and believe you me, the majority of thin girls can't). Women are also not "meat" (and when they say that, they are just referring to fat, not muscle) or things to "grab". You want some meat or have something to grab, go get a steak or a stress ball, you little perverts. And ladies, please... stop pretending as if you know what men want, just because your boyfriend likes that. Your boyfriend does not represent the entirely population of men in the world (and thank Heaven for that).

anyway, /rant. I'm just getting so sick of this coddling of big/fat women and insulting of slimmer ones. If you haven't noticed by this point, go Google it. It's not at all a rare thing and you could need glasses to not have noticed it.