You're Not Marching For Me

Courtesy of National Review

I'm way late to post, but even now at the end of the month, everyone's got an opinion on the Women's March that took place the day after President Trump's inauguration. For better or worse, it's stirred up some attention. Women all over the country marched for our "right" to free birth control and abortion and some other issues such as the wage gap (which has already been debunked several times, anyway).

Now, decent health care is one thing... But I don't want or support free birth control or abortions. How can these people claim to fight for those of us who don't want it?

Maybe because they weren't actually fighting for all women, making the title "Women's March" an odd one. Because for all the passionate signs and chanting done and women claiming to care about other women, pro-life women were told they were uninvited to this march, even pro-lifers who identified as feminist themselves.

And gaslighting us by condescendingly informing us we are either too stupid to know how hopelessly oppressed we are, or too privileged to sympathize with the oppressed (well... which one is it? You can't pick and choose someone's social and class status when it suits you) does not make anyone want to support your cause.

Incredibly, the March for Life was able to gain support or show up without any vulgar costumes or signs or telling someone how unwelcome they are. Almost like they're able to put their money where their mouth is.

I was unable to go to the MFL- the real Women's March that fights for rights some women (the unborn) do not actually have, unlike just demanding free birth control for people who decided to have sex- but I was in spirit, and I feel far more empowered to align myself with them.

DIY- Craft of the Day: Sensory Bottles (aka Calm Down Bottles)

I needed something easy to make for my niece's Christmas present in addition to a couple Disney Little Golden Books and a book about Goldilocks I got her, and since she has and is getting more toys and clothes than she needs, those were out of the question. So I came across these:

Sorry about my phone's clarity. I turned on both lights!

Sensory bottles! Stimulating things for kids to amuse themselves with and relax when having a fit. I had trouble not staring at the glitter one in the middle myself, it was so soothing. The beads and googly eyes have a nice sound, and the pom-poms just look neat, I guess?

A 'recipe' for the glitter bottle can be found right here. Enjoy!

The Myth of the Catty Female Part I: Why Do We Love Catfights?

They're everywhere- reality TV (where adults behaving like 5 year olds get rich for it!), action movies, romance novels. Female competition. Girl on girl hate. Drama queens. Whatever you want to call it, we as a society seem to love it. People pay to watch women fight and backstab on shows like those Housewives of _____ and everyone seemed to enjoy a good female fisticuffs in middle or high school at least once- usually over a guy who always seemed to be sitting back enjoying he show, didn't he?

That's just it, isn't it? It's usually to be seen as attractive, the coolest, the best, in some guy's eyes, while he feels like a rockstar for encouraging two girls or women to argue over him (not all guys do this, I realize, and obviously not all women argue just over a guy!). God told Eve she would always "desire her husband". I don't think He necessarily meant sexually. I think the curse of human women is that as a whole, we're unnecessarily driven to seek male approval and attention. And yes, I mean "curse". It is in no way a good thing to obsess or fight over anyone's approval, regardless of their sex.

Sometimes, as I stated, this leads some immature women to do immature things for a guy. I know it can be a huge ego boost when you're the lucky lady. Immature guys may attempt to compliment you by saying you're "not like other girls", which may make said immature woman feel special. While Nice Guys who aren't all aggressive, stupid, and macho like Those Other Guys and love to hear you talk about your feelings and life because they're so sensitive do exist, they seem to in smaller groups, and they aren't usually as discussed or valued as the Guy's Girl (which I shall refer to her as from now on).

Why? Why is it men's opinions seem to be valued over women's? Again, the Bible speaks the truth, though I also have to somewhat agree with feminists that society just tends to prefer masculinity over femininity in most ways, despite the very feminist direction the West is heading into.

So, back to the catfights. I don't know about you, but I hate them. I love other women and wish I had a ton of them as best friends. Female friends as just the best. I think our general dislike of conflict makes them good listeners who are less likely to judge, usually, and they can give some of the most soothing words and sensible advice without coming off as lecturing you. They're fun, and they get why staying up late making a junk food smorgasbord to go with a Disney marathon and window shopping and trying to make new desserts (sometimes unsuccessfully) and having those deep conversations about life at 3 AM are some of the best ways to bond. I, personally, just relate to other girls better than guys. I've tried befriending some guys, but it rarely worked. If they didn't move away, they turned out to be judgmental jerks or tried to date me instead. That's my experience though; I know many guy friends rock! Just remember men are no more perfect than women are. They judge, start fights, and break off relationships for petty reasons, too.

I forget where I read this, but in some book years ago the author mentioned how two girls who from different countries and shared no common language could bond within- what, an hour? Whether or not it's factually true, I've seen similar things happen. Women love to connect. Our bonds we form with one another can be some of the strongest on earth. Which is absolutely not to knock men as friends or friendships between men. But female friends at just at heart, different from men. And that's OK. They don't need to be the same because they're not.


So many self-contradiction stereotypes and opinions of women that don't match up. I've already written more than I'd originally planned and still havent gotten to some points, so I think a part II is in order. Because this is an issue that's angered me for quite some time, it's rarely discussed much less promoted, and it needs to be said, even if only a few of you will ever read my blog. If it changes even one person's mind, I'll be ecstatic.

Do any of you have female friendships you value? What are some of your favorite female friendships in history? Do you tend to prefer women as friends?

Do Christian Wives "Owe" Their Husbands Sex?

 I’m not usually one to get up in arms when another Christian thinks something I don’t, and normally I really think this lady is right on (and I do think her intentions are good) but this post just made me a little sick to read, and more so the comments section. I remember also once reading a very fundamental Christian guy flat-out saying on his site that it is indeed a sin to not have sex with your husband.

Because this is a pretty serious topic, I'm going to be blunt here. I don’t care if this offends someone: women and men, you do not “owe” your spouse sex. It is not a “sin” to not want to “pump them dry” as that lady’s husband encourages us to do. It’s not God’s will for you to be a sex slave of any kind. Marriage is about sacrifice and God first, enjoyment second. It isn’t godly to guilt people into sex, telling them they’re being a bad spouse if they don’t feel like hopping into bed every five minutes with you. That's flat-out emotional manipulation.

And what utter nonsense to pretend women have NO temptations! Are you kidding? Like we have never ogled shirtless men? We have temptations with sin, too. Christians, stop treating men as helpless babies who have no self-control and blaming women for them not giving their husbands “enough”. I say this to wives as well but frankly, as much as I hate to admit it, with a lot of Christians it’s usually women they see as responsible for this. And husbands, you, too, are not obliged to feel guilted into doing something you are not up for.

I am not married yet (though I hope one day to be), so I know some might say I have no experience to back this up. Do I really need it to point out sin? I don't think so. It is just selfishness and rigid legalism behind this attitude and I do not believe for a minute one should be married, divorced or single to have the authority to acknowledge this sinful attitude.

The Hatred of Big Families

I'm neither a mom nor am I married. But I can't wait to be. I know any kids, much less lots of them, aren't for everything. Even marriage isn't as popular an idea as it used to be, with the ever-growing divorce rates discouraging people out of commitment. But while we tell each other, "It's OK to not want a family and settle down. Chase your dreams! Do what YOU want and respect others for not wanting to be parents!" we sure don't seem to think that those of us who DO want that deserve to have our choice respected.

I like reading blogs about moms of large families, particularly ones who homeschool. It's so different from what I know and just interesting to learn about, though I personally don't plan to have more than three kids tops. I understand not everyone wants a big family or thinks they can afford one.

But a dislike of multiple kids and suspicion towards adults who want them in our culture has started and just kept growing, it would seem. I often hear mothers of these families talk about the kinds of comments they'd get from friends or even random people at the store:

"Are they ALL yours?"
"You're done having kids now, right?"

And so on.

Some questions are just curious, some are just plain rude and nosy. Strange, for a culture that's always quick to get defensive and say "Who are you to judge? It's none of your business what I do! It's not hurting anyone else!" we don't seem to hold that to big families also. Some people seem to just feel... offended by them.

Why? What's so offensive about many kids? Because unless they can be manipulated for political agendas to garner sympathy, our culture just plain hates children. They're too innocent for its obsession with sex, and most of all, they demand us to sacrifice our own wants for their needs which contradicts the me-first culture here.

Nobody's attacking anyone if they don't want a big family or even kids at all (though I realize some people do get bothered for not having any and they should be left alone too), so why don't we extend the same courtesy to big families?

Happy Father's Day 2015!

I wish I had thought to do this for Mother's Day... Maybe I can do a special moms post later on as a belated post. In honor of one of the least appreciated major holidays in the USA, here are some of my favorite fictional dads and grandfathers (in no order except for Atticus and Ned)!

1. Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird
2. Eddard Stark, A Game of Thrones
3. King Triton, The Little Mermaid
4. George Bailey, It's A Wonderful Life
5. Guido Orefice, Life is Beautiful
6. King Stefan, Sleeping Beauty
7. Wilfred Mott, Doctor Who
8. Pacha, The Emperor's New Groove
9. Maurice, Beauty and the Beast
10. James, The Princess and the Frog
11. Charles Ingalls, Little House series
12. Professor Trevor Broom, Hellboy
13. Pete Tyler, Doctor Who
14. Lord Archibald Craven, The Secret Garden
15. Mufasa, The Lion King
16. Edward Walker, The Village

Stealing Culture?

There's an idea floating around the 'Net that seems to have stemmed from liberal arts colleges and the like- that instead of America being a melting pot of cultures and traditions where we are free to share cultures and engage in others, that doing so is wrong and harms said culture. This idea is called "cultural appropriation".

Though I guess I should specify: it only counts if it's white people doing it, apparently. Especially white Americans (the young Social Justice Bloggers who spout all this seem to not realize there are countries beyond America but you wouldn't know that with how US-centric they all are). If a white person eats a taco, by golly, the entire history of Mexico is being erased. If a white person wears dreadlocks, Jamaicans everywhere cry out in anguish (never mind that dreads are neither a 'black thing', they're religious, nor did blacks invent it; Romans and Vikings, for example, wore them too). And so on.

If a Chinese woman wears a dirndl for Halloween, however, this doesn't count as stealing culture, apparently. A black man can riverdance and it's not hurting anyone. Someone of Mestizo descent can study ballet and Russians don't suffer from it. Hmm. It's almost like a single individual participating in a foreign culture isn't actually hurting it. It's almost like, yes, cultures should be respected, but they're also meant to be shared, generally. Don't get upset over this:

If you have no problem with this:

I don't think either of the wearers were being disrespectful or trying to "steal" culture.

Hmm. It's almost like this is just another pathetic attempt to drive the wedge between races and ethnicities down a little harder. Listen, if a non-white person can celebrate Oktoberfest or St. Lucia's Day or St. Patrick's Day or eat pierogis and such, a white person can buy a kimono, eat dim sum, and celebrate el Dia de los Muertos as well. Whole histories and civilizations are not going to collapse because Becky in Florida or Ling in Hong Kong are eating foreign foods and buying traditional attire from different countries.

We can share and learn from other cultures. That's what America was meant for. And you don't even have to be American to appreciate that.

Too Wise For God

I finally made some much-deserved time to study a Bible verse that caught my eye this morning as I flipped open the sermon pamphlet my dad had given me from last Sunday-

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." - 1 Corinthians 1:18

I read Matthew Henry's commentary of it, and he as usual made good points:

"Christ crucified is a stumbling-block to the Jews. They could not get over it. They had a conceit that their expected Messiah was to be a great temporal prince, and therefore would never own one who made so mean an appearance in life, and died so accursed a death, for their deliverer and king. They despised him, and looked upon him as execrable, because he was hanged on a tree, and because he did not gratify them with a sign to their mind, though his divine power shone out in innumerable miracles."

 "[The Greeks] laughed at the story of a crucified Saviour, and despised the apostles’ way of telling it. They sought for wisdom. They were men of wit and reading, men that had cultivated arts and sciences, and had, for some ages, been in a manner the very mint of knowledge and learning. There was nothing in the plain doctrine of the cross to suit their taste, nor humour their vanity, nor gratify a curious and wrangling temper: they entertained it therefore with scorn and contempt. What, hope to be saved by one that could not save himself." 

Does this sound familiar to you? Much like our modern society, does it not?

The Jews to me are reminiscent of the watered-down Christians (or "Water Christians" as I call them) who have submitted to the world instead of God. The Jews back then wouldn't accept a Savior of such humble birth, who hung out with rabble, despite His many miracles that proved He was indeed the Son of God. They just wanted a magic prince cloaked in splendor.

The Greeks remind me of both atheists and some other Water Christians. Not always the same kind as above who are too vain to truly accept the Gospel, but ones who are too arrogant to, which is definitely the problem with most atheists today as well. The Greeks scorned the Savior who (supposedly) couldn't even save Himself. Why, they were so advanced in the arts, sciences, and knowledge in general. Clearly they knew better than some guy who lived simply, told his friends to give away their worldly possessions, and preached revolutionary yet simple sermons. Nothing about this plain gospel appealed to them, exactly how the anti-Jesus atheists and so-called Christians of today are, the former of whom pats themselves on the back for their religious-like faith the vague, monolithic Science deity; the latter of whom sneers at true believing Christians trying to follow the Word even when it clashes with society's opinions to do so. These worldly 'Christians' might actually have a faint belief in God or go to church to hear a nice sugar-coated sermon that doesn't challenge them to live a different life than the comfortable one they're used to, but they have no interest in serving Jesus and tackling obstacles the world throws at anyone who will do so.


These people think themselves too wise to believe in or follow God wholeheartedly. They're too good for that. They know better.

Keith Krell also made a point I'd like to quote:

"The Word of the cross is that salvation is freely granted by God's grace, not human merit or intellect. Furthermore, salvation is extended to all people. This levels the ground at the foot of the cross. Everyone comes to God through faith, based upon the work of Jesus Christ. This offends man’s pride."

Unbelievers and false Christians who shun the Gospel do not want to be equal with people they dislike (especially followers of Jesus, but this can apply to anyone). They're better than them. Those losers are lesser than they are. It also means they're no excuse to not accept God if it's free- and they don't want to. They want to worship themselves, the world, money, anything that appeals to their pride but God.

So it all just comes down to human pride getting offended. And as such, these groups will be left to perish in their own stubborn pride.

Mourn for a Confused Child's Thrown-Away Life, But Don't Blame the Wrong Parties

I'm tired of fueling the fire this issue is made up of, but I'm going to say it. The Alcorn parents had a mentally unwell child who chose to kill himself. If it didn’t happen now, those problems would’ve manifested in other ways some other time, because that very sadly is the case with those who struggle with depression or other mental illnesses. I don’t say all this without sympathy; I say it because nobody forces anyone to commit suicide, so this "If the parents had just accepted her, she wouldn't have killed herself!". That's acting like they pointed a gun at him and said, "Kill yourself, or we'll do it for me". That’s absolute nonsense to the utmost, at best, and at worst and most offensively, takes Joshua's agency away making him a helpless victim who just didn't know better (can you really get any more condescending than that?) and shifts the blame onto two people who had no part in Josh’s/Leela’s death, two people who are currently grieving their lost child on top of dealing with the flooding of hate mail and death threats from the side that, ironically, condemns them for not accepting “her” while not accepting the parents themselves.

Photo from cnn.com.

Lots of things don’t get accepted by others that you don’t end your life over, some things much worse than your parents not calling the son the mom gave birth to a girl because that’s how he feels like being called. And as his parents, whatever you think of their theological beliefs, they make the rules, and until he was a legal adult, he had to respect their decisions. Once he was a legal adult, he could have gone out and gotten surgery or anything he wanted (not that I am encouraging this idea, just stating that all he would have had to do was wait).

I also don't understand how so many people seem incapable of feeling more than one thing at once. Have we all morphed into J.M. Barrie's Tinkerbell, who was so tiny she could not hold in more than extreme emotion at a time? You can feel sorry for Joshua and still not hate on his parents. I do feel bad for him. He was confused, but at the same time, I don't excuse his choice to end the life God gave him, and especially not selfish way he chose to do it- by jumping in front of a moving truck. The poor driver might well be scarred for life and already has people blaming HIM for what happened!

Do you feel a burning desire to lat blame at someone's feet? Why not the LGBT community? They have no problem encouraging sexual immorality in young children by telling them whatever feels good is right, which is a blatant lie and just childish thinking anyway. Many of these people are also bullies themselves, though sending threats to Mr. and Mrs. Alcorn is far from being their first victims of that. They crave validation to be assured that what they're doing is right (because, again, "it feels good") and not immoral at all, and when anyone refuses to not tell them what they want to hear, they lose all sense of reason and lash out at the person, instead of just accepting their views- something the preachers of 'tolerance' claim to want themselves- or maybe even stopping to consider if that person is right not to. Feelings prevail over logic or even basic biology sometimes. Kids like Josh can't accept their fate, the fact that he was a boy born as a boy, and this leads to anger, depression, and other negative things we'd all do well to keep out of our lives if we were just honest with ourselves.

But slowly, surely, some people have started to speak out against the bullying the parents are receiving, saying that even though they think the parents were wrong, they don't deserve to be harassed. This should be seen as a little ray of light in a society where far too many embrace this “bully everyone we don’t agree with” attitude, which is just disgusting, and especially prevalent on the Internet where the LGBT community tends to reign supreme on issues. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says you don’t agree with- you do not defend or condone harassment and bullying. If you claim to just want love and tolerance and in the same breath condemn those for not agreeing with you, for not supporting your lifestyle choice, for accepting biological facts over desires, you're as bad as the people you're claiming to fight against.

Sense of Community in Church... or Not?

I don’t mean if you’re an agnostic and your mom drags you to church once a few times a year for the holidays or anything, I mean actual Christians who regularly (if they can) attend.

I love my church but I have never made a single friend there. I mean, I sort of am acquainted with the pastor’s elder daughter. She’s one of the nicest young people I’ve ever known and really has her life together (though her parents have always pushed her and her siblings hard, I know, and is the overachieving type your parents LOVE to compare you to in a “why can’t you be like them?” way). But she’s always super busy being in lots of activities, much more devoted to God than I’ve been, has her own little set of best friends, and as the pastor’s kid lots of people want to talk to her. Oh, and she’s married now. Her younger sister my age is also engaged (welp, there goes my potential roommate! ). When my dad got custody of me when I was 16 I was already hesitant to go to church- I was less of a Chragnostic as I had been as a kid but not quite a true Christian even though I really believed in God and demons and such then. But I hate crowds, feel deeply uncomfortable in them, I disliked how long the worship music was that I could never get into, although everyone was perfectly nice, if much more outgoing than me. But after years of going I got into it and even looked forward to it, especially after I started working full time and almost never got a single Sunday off, so I REALLY started to miss it and missed being around nice, encouraging, Christian people.
But anyway, as much as I love my church, I’ve come to realize something after checking out the reddit True Christian section for the first time. Some guy posted about how tired he was of having no Christian friends and though he didn’t want any perfect ones, just some that were at least trying to follow God, and tried hard to make friends at his Christian college/church, they were rather preppy and more outgoing and didn’t seem to want to talk to anyone who wasn’t. I really relate to this- I don’t doubt most of the kids my age at church are perfectly nice, but they do seem to only gravitate towards ones like them, ones that are preppy, sociable, do lots of activities, etc. They’ve already found their own pairs/groups and even cliques to get into and not one that I can remember but my pastor’s daughters has even tried talking to me. I’m sorry if that makes me sound bad, like I don’t want to try talking to them, but I’m very socially phobic and get nervous about meeting people, especially ones my age, and don’t even bother trying to introduce me to guys, I freeze up around them bad. My dad wishes our worship leader’s daughter who is a year or so younger than I and also into art/very quiet were friends but she never notices me at all, even when I helped her with an item at the store I work at, even though my dad introduced us before. she also has her own best friend. I feel pretty isolated and discouraged because I have absolutely no Christian friends (outside my awesome tumblr followers) to talk to.

On one hand, I love my solitude. I’m an introvert and NEED to be by myself to relax and recharge and think clearly. Being around too many people, especially for too long, just exhausts me and makes me cranky. On the other hand, Christians need fellowship and I could definitely use more friends right now. Most of the time I’m too tired after the long bus ride home from work to hang out, but on some days off and even just talking/venting would be great, exactly what I need. My boyfriend is more of a Jesusite (used to be an atheist till we got close and eventually, unintentionally, became an item) and my best friend… I have no idea what she beliefs anymore. she used to be sort of a Lutheran growing up I think, till her parents didn’t get back together and she kinda stopped. Then in the typically bratty/rebellious tween/early teen years she decided to become an atheist. Then she sort of believed more. Now she does have some understanding of sin and I’ve gotten her to go to church with me once or twice (and she’s gone with her sister, who’s about in the same boat as her I guess once) but she doesn’t care to stop what sinful lifestyles she’s leading. And now she’s having a baby, which obviously is gonna have some big changes. My dad can be a great source of righteous spiritual knowledge and encouragement but he himself has terrible habits when he’s outside church and can be an honestly nasty person to me sometimes (which in turn makes me want to be nasty right back, and I often do, but I don’t want that negativity in my life anymore).

These Are a Few of My Favorite Blogs

I've discovered some awesome blogs over the past few months- typically by pure accident, just Googling up ideas and beliefs I like and seeing what comes up (feminism, homemaking, and Christianity together being a common thing I've been looking up). Here are a few of them. Enjoy!

1. Ladies Against Feminist/Beautiful Womanhood This isn't a new blog by far, and it's pretty well known, but I had to include it! It probably deserves to top the list the most (although the rest aren't really in order), and it's one of the first I originally stumbled upon. They hit many good points and ideas our society is badly in need of hearing.

2. Generation Cedar Almost ties with LAF, as they are very similar, but I prefer LAF slightly (I think GC occasionally comes off as too condemning of women, even if it doesn't mean to, but it has most excellent beliefs, recipes, etc.).

3. Forgiven Former Feminist A very excellent young woman's blog with an equally excellent testimony- how many feminists have you ever met that actually turned their way of thinking completely around? I love her way of thinking now!

4. Heart at Home You know, I totally forgot how I found this one, despite it being only a few days ago when I did. I think I was looking up something about lemongrass? Well, either way, she's another great Christian blogger with great recipe ideas. I'm becoming a tip hoarder (frugal tips, craft tips, organizing tips, I love 'em all) and she has sooo many good ones.

5. Aspiring Homemaker Discovered yesterday thanks to HaH. Very pleasing to look at- like seeing a Victorian painting postcard! She enjoys the simple life and if you didn't know better, you'd think she and her home stepped right out of the early 20th century.

6. Raising Olives I LOVE big families! This is always fun to read, especially as she homeschools her kids, something not uncommon with big Christian families but I have always found very interesting.

7. Domestic Felicity An articulate Jewish homemaker living in Israel with a strong Biblical view on feminism, pro-life issues, and femininity, discovered thanks to LAF. I love reading her political posts so much, as she is both a solid and graceful writer.

8. Deep Roots at Home Ahh, I almost forgot this, but how could I?! This is also a very recent favorite. She mostly posts about gardening, home remedies, recipes, etc. (and they are great) but the first posts I originally discovered were a series about modesty (which I'm still reading). They are wonderful and give good advice about what to wear in summer, for errands, around the house, etc.... in skirts! Yes, this has helped motivate me to wear skirts more. (Unfortunately it's still too cold to wear any here, but I am pretty well prepared for summer and spring!)

9. Couture For Christ OK, this is actually a fashion blog, but it's still one of my favorites. It's just such a shame Southern Belle, the blogger, hasn't made a post since over 2 years ago (can't believe it's been that long!). CFC was one of my first favorite blogs. She's very into all that is tasteful, feminine, and classic, another big Victorian fan here. I really hope she comes back, but in the meantime, there's still plenty for me to read on her blog.

I'm a HIT: Homemaker in Training!

After years of being indecisive about what I'd like to make my professional, lifelong career (and ranging from teacher to writer to makeup artist), I have chosen the oldest calling in the book.... homemaking!

Say... is that Donna Reed? Mary Bailey is one of my favorite homemakers!

I never thought about it before, but as I grew this year, in femininity and spirit both, I realized the utter importance of being there for your family in the home. After all, if you don't raise the next generation, who will? Secular schools? Strangers in classrooms? TV?

I'm one of those people who is mostly moderately good at a handful of things (although I truly believe writing is my best talent) and frankly, I just don't think I work well under someone else, with no room for creativity or anything. As a homemaker, I am my own boss working alongside my husband, and can creative to the high Heavens for my future family's needs and demands. I am actually excited thinking about it!

Of course, I fully plan to keep writing as well as I do this. I will probably even blog about my adventures as a  housekeeper, mom, free maid and live-in chef, too. I mean, maybe I'm just a dork, but I get excited when I find cool ways to live frugally and clever organizing tips!

You know this craft area is your living dream.

People who put down homemaking... well, you have to laugh. It's kind of naive. Living in squalor is strong and clever? Doing what YOU want and living for the self is being an independent woman? Sorry, I can't say that's true. If homemaking isn't YOUR calling, fine, but don't trash the idea just because you'd rather have more money than a great home and happy family. Don't knock it till you try it!

The Anti-Ladette

I have to say, I have really grown in my femininity over the past few months. Truth be told, I just got sick of the strange but commonly accepted dislike, or even hatred, of "girly girls", feminine women, proper ladie, etc. get while tomboys, ladettes (am even more masculine version of the tomboy, badically), etc. get nothing but praise and respect. And as contrary as I am (I admit it!) this sort of made me want to be more feminine. Yes,  part of me really did want to embrace Biblical femininity, but an immature part of me wanted to "rebel" and spite what society says about femininity... which isn't very good.

Notice how poorly "girly" women are portrayed in movies (Mean Girls is an excellent example): always mean, shallow and selfish (like Regina George, the queen bee) or vapid and useless (like Karen Smith, the "sexy" but dumb one) or gossipy and insecure (needy sidekick Gretchen Weiners). Only when a female takes on traditionally masculine roles or hobbies is she seen as a role model or a strong heroine. How sad is that? The really scary part is that this is what modern feminists typically encourage women to be like- and in doing so, completely not seeing how ridiculously ANTI-WOMAN it is! It is saying "Hey, women are lame and men are great, so if you want to be treated with respect or admired, act like a guy. Being a woman isn't good enough."

The Plastics.

Scarlett O'Hara doing the classic catty face.

So, while it's OK to know how to fix a car, enjoy sports and the like, just don't do it rebelliously because you think you're too good to be feminine. Odd how it's typically the females who accuse their own gender of being "too catty" or "too dramatic" to get along with, yet that is exactly what they are doing- being too insecure and catty to get along with their own gender. Not to mention guys will often ignore catty behavior from a tomboy if she is fun to hang out with, or better yet, will sleep with him (which is sadly what they usually end up doing), or he might not even notice it. Women who can't get along with their own sex are the ones with the problem, not their whole sex, and it is a typical attitude for someone with issues to blame other people and be in denial of their own said issues.

This picture, a screenshot from Rosalind Wiseman's book Queen Bees and Wannabes (which Mean Girls was actually based on) pretty much sums up the common tomboy description for girls but also women:

As this is what many young girls and women are encouraged to be like, I have to say it's flat out wrong, in that it's ungodly and severely unwomanly. By implying men make better friends and are better to act like (in personality, interests, etc.) you are putting men on a pedestal and pretending they're sinless and perfect while women aren't good enough- maybe they even deserve condemnation, despite the fact that men are ALSO, if not even more, catty, jealous, and competitive (that's in their DNA after all) than females of all ages. I don't trust girls who say they don't trust girls. See why?

It's now frowned upon to like anything traditionally feminine or behave like a lady. Girly girls are boring, weak, helpless idiots and genteel ladies are stuffy, uptight, dull prudes, and both groups are annoying. I mean, marriage and shopping and crafts and nurturing are ICKY!

The Ladette trope is overrated. Massively overrated. And while being girly is slowly coming back in style (even self proclaimed feminists are started to boldly proclaim they can like knitting and taking care of their families while being a strong feminist), it's a start, but we need to reclaim Biblical femininity, not just society's idea of it.

Couldn't find the picture of uber-tomboy Vasquez from Aliens working out with the guys, so this'll have to do.

Me buying a lacy wallet and pastel-colored clothing, while awesome, is not enough. Too many people, especially thanks to Hollywood's influence with fembot, butt-kicking action heroines, still think femininity is equal to weakness, except, of course, when used to seduce men (apparently being sexual objects is being powerful and in control of men?). Too many women faint at the sight of pink (this is a jab at the common "I'm not girly- I don't faint at the sight of a broken nail/mouse/dirt/etc"), think tattoos and piercings make them tough, and putting down their own gender makes them strong. None of that empowers our gender or men- making anyone seem perfect is never good. It's sexist and misogynist, a fine example of how sin has warped our sex.

What can we do? Start slow- doing little "girly" things every day and adjustments in our attitude. Don't worry about wearing skirts or having tea parties- that doesn't make you feminine (though it certainly helps!). Try to be a lady in all situations. Don't be afraid to ask for God's help, because in this culture and many others, you're gonna need it. Some tips on being a godly lady:

1. Keep your temper. Jesus had it right (of course): love your enemies. Naturally, this is easier said then done. Much easier. But a lady does not lash out at people. Try to remind yourself when someone is being rude or nasty that they're probably unhappy themselves. A great quote from one of my favorite books ever, A Little Princess: 

“When you will not fly into a passion people know you are stronger than they are, because you are strong enough to hold in your rage, and they are not, and they say stupid things they wish they hadn't said afterward. There's nothing so strong as rage, except what makes you hold it in--that's stronger. It's a good thing not to answer your enemies.” 

2. Don't be a doormat. #1 being said, that doesn't mean you should let people walk all over you, something society seems to think girly-girls are all about (while seeing them simultaneously as being self-seeking, spoiled and demanding... huh, I do wonder how they manage that at once). Stand up for yourself and keep your cool. Learn to say no, respectfully. Never be exploited, and never let someone make you feel guilty if you can't help or know they wish you to help them do something you know is wrong or inappropriate.

3. Be generous. When she can, a lady devotes her time to helping others. Do extra chores around the house before others living there can get to them. Go out of your way to help a client (or co-worker) at work. In fact, go out of your way to anyone, especially someone who seems to really need it- that extra seat on the  bus, your umbrella, extra cash to get groceries, whatever you feel compelled to help with. Even little things like letting your friend who's had a bad day borrow the book you just bought before you even get a chance to read it, or taking someone who seems hungry for company out to get coffee. A lady puts others before herself when she can. Another ALP quote:

“If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that--warm things, kind things, sweet things--help and comfort and laughter--and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all.” 

4. Don't be "one of the guys"- be FOR the guys. It's fine to be friends with guys, but don't look down on girls as not good enough to be your friend. You have no idea what awesome friendships you're missing out on! Girls and women can be there for you in ways men never can- would you feel comfortable telling you guy friend about girly problems like body image issues, shopping for bras or how your boyfriend has been trying to push you to go too far physically? Probably not. Not to mention, you probably don't need to worry about a girl trying to force your friendship into something more, or getting jealous of your date, or teasing you to impress her buddies and look macho. Of course, no one is a perfect friend, but girls as girl friends do tend to make the best ones. Also, do not compete with guys. You're not a guy, so why act like one? Not to mention, there are some areas you just might lose to them in and feel hurt about (guys are known to get carried away after a win OR lose). Focus on being there for them and giving them practical advice when they need it. Help them walk in purity, don't flirt with them.

5. Don't be a guy-chaser. Whether or not you choose to befriend guys, don't obsess over them, and definitely realize your worth with or without their approval. God didn't design you to be perfect when you received the admiration of men, He made you fine as you are. Your worth isn't defined by how many boyfriends you've had or how many guys checked you out. That's vain and insecure. Why waste time worrying about what guys think? Besides, they all have different opinions. You'd be 6 feet under before you managed to fit every ideal every guy has! Being single isn't synonymous with being weak. Realize you're strong enough to wait.

6. Pessimism is exhausting While very comfortable to do, feeling sorry for yourself doesn't make your problems go away. Have a good cry and self-pity, then get back on your feet and go on about your business. Optimism is healthier and frankly feels a whole lot better. If you make yourself believe everything is bad, everything will be bad for you. Always remember, there's people in worse situations than yours out there.

7. Elocution goes a long way. Slang can be funny (and goodness knows I know that) but a good vocabulary and proper way of speaking are better. Don't speak in an affected way to impress people. Swearing is ugly and sounds like a waste of an education (even if you're very angry, try not to do this). Try not to slouch as you speak or cross your arms too.

8. Girly hobbies are good for the soul. Invest your time in learning at least one hobby you consider girly- baking, crocheting, DIY projects, gardening, fashion designing, scrapbooking, decorating, etc. Many of these are quite practical, and who knows? You might end up loving it. "Manly" stuff like watching pro-wrestling or partaking in a burping contest are not impressive, classy, or cool.

9. Be quick to forgive. A lady forgives even wen forgiveness is not asked for. Again, this is easier said than done, but it's hugely important for your spiritual life and mental health. She also knows to ask for forgiveness and has the integrity to know when she's done something wrong. If you're worried this will make the opposing party feel conceited like they won and were in the right all along, don't think about it. Make it clear it doesn't matter who was right or wrong, and your apology is not a trophy for them to feel smug about. If that's all they feel when they receive an apology, don't bother getting into another argument with someone like that- they're not worth your time if apologies are just a pride issue to them.

10. Immodesty is overrated. This goes for attitude as well as dress. Conceit is an unflattering accessory on anyone, let alone as a staple in one's closet. Mystery never hurt anyone, and truthfully, if you have to try to be sexy with a tight shirt, stilettos, or short dress, you aren't. A humble outfit is much more attractive, as it says to people, "I am confident enough to not need to attract attention by dressing or acting promiscuously. I don't need boys ogle me to feel desirable or worthwhile." Of course, don't become so focused on how modest you are that it becomes a vanity!

I'm sure I'm missing many others, so perhaps I'll add onto this later. For now, these are some basics everyone needs to know anyway. 

Also, this was an EXCELLENT article on one of my recently discovered and favorite sites.

Zooey Deschanel's character on New Girl gets flack for being "girly" and "quirky" and she stood up for herself.

And let me add- I am NOT condemning you if you aren't hyper feminine. That's fine. You don't need to be passionate about girly stuff- you just need to be passionate enough God enough to want to be feminine in His  eyes. Even if you're a nonbeliever reading this, it still applies to you. One need not wear dresses every day and blog about fashion to be feminine. Hobbies and interests matter and say much about you, but true femininity is an attitude and lifestyle.  With all this being said, I hope greatly the proper ladies, girly girls, princesses, homemakers, and everyone else can reclaim femininity as the Anti-Ladettes.

Audrey Hepburn, the antithesis to the original Ladette, Kate Hepburn

Hearing God's Voice

OK, so in my last blog entry (which was only made a few minutes ago, because I'm afraid if I wait to write this later I'll either forget or be too lazy to), I mentioned how my dad and I had recently taken Wednesday evening classes at church called "Hearing God's Voice". Most of it involves us watching this Canadian preacher's sermon on hearing His voice, how hard it was for him at first and how it took him many years to learn how, and him describing each step on how to do this. The rest of the class, unfortunately for me, is getting into groups and discussing what we wrote in our "question journals", which is where you ask God things or talk to Him and write down what He says to you.

So, follow these steps (no skipping any):

1. Stillness: Find a quiet place where you won't be distracted by people, phones, the TV, etc.

2. Vision: Fix your eyes on Jesus, and use your eyes and heart to hear Him.

3. Spontaneity: It may be hard to believe that God doesn't speak in the thunderous voice of a mountain that many expect Him to have, but God most often speaks to us in our own voices, like a small, spontaneous thought in our minds.

4. Journaling: Write out the flow of thoughts and pictures within you.

The preacher (forgot his name) recommends that you try to imagine yourself actually with Jesus, sitting with him or whatnot, talking to him, then ask the question.

Though you may think it doesn't make sense to feel uncomfortable about sharing my questions with the group yet now with blog readers, but I don't personally know many of you nor will I probably ever see you in real life, so it's much easier. I first tried this the morning after the class when I stayed the night with my grandma and tried this up in her bedroom while she worked downstairs. Here is the first question and answer I got:

Q: God, what am I supposed to do this whole semester? I'm discontent with my work, miss school, and live so far from town.

A: Take the time to get to know Me. I'm here for you. Don't be afraid to ask anything. What I want you to do is stay at [your job], save up for school, and in the meantime learn about Me.

There was actually a lot more than that but I couldn't type it all out. But let me tell you, I was very surprised and impressed that it worked! I really felt like it was God speaking to me. And when I for a second thought maybe it was just my own personal thoughts, I looked back at all 6 pages in my medium-sized notebook I'd written in and pointed out to myself that I could not have come up with all that spontaneously and so quickly and still have it make perfect sense like it did, in such an amount of answers. Especially on my very first time trying this.

So how about you? Will you try it out? Believer or not, give it a try, if you really believe it could work.

New Year

So, once again, I've been pretty lazy about writing. A few months lazy, in fact. Well, I think God wants me to try writing more, so that's what I'll do.

But inspiration for a subject rarely hits me. I usually only feel like writing when I'm either annoyed at something, or it's something fun, like clothes and makeup (see my other blog for details). Plus, when you're annoyed or angered, it's kind of hard to write fairly and respectfully.

But I will try to make a point to write at least 1-2 times a week, and not just one short paragraph or anything. I don't believe in New Year's Revolutions, partly because I never even think of making any, but also because you shouldn't do that once a year. You should ALWAYS try to make changes for the better! So although it's well after New Year's Day, here's a few of mine:

1. Write weekly in this blog, not only to be informative but keep my writing muscle strong. It's also good for venting.

2. Exercise EVERY day. Doesn't matter how tired I am. Just listening to music in my room and practicing my dancing is a start. After that it'll be easier to do more stuff like Piloxing.

3. Develop more patience. As if this isn't hard enough in real life for most people, it's ever so much more trying online. So in relation to #1, whenever I feel the need to tell someone off as rudely as they are being to me, I'll take a quick break to listen to some songs and do some cardio. It's a great destressor and gives me time to think through what I want to say. This will also help my relationship with my dad, because I know I do get very impatient with him.

4. Eat better. This is very hard considering my dad buys pop and stuff that is less than healthy for you, and if you put it in the fridge, chances are I WILL eat it! It's not even that we hate healthy foods; quite the opposite, we love them. I noticed how much more satisfied I felt after eating carrot and celery sticks as opposed to chips, which fill you up but don't satisfy you.

5. Write in my "question" journal every day. We're taking a class called "Hearing God's Voice" at church Wednesday nights and just trying it for 2 days has me convinced it works- if you're willing to be patient and try.

Well! It's certainly been a long time since my last entry, hasn't it? I mostly only get inspired to write something when I'm angry or annoyed at something I feel matters. So far, a lot has changed for me (well, some things) but not necessarily enough to write about. Although, I do have some drafts saved. Maybe I'll go back to them.

So, I have my first job! It's stocking at the general store by my house. I'm so glad it's close. Unfortunately, since I'm not good at working the register (it is possible to not be good at counting change, trust me) and don't like it much, the main days for stocking are on Sat., Sun., and Mon. I did once on Thursday too. So I've been missing church every week for almost 3 months to work for 5 hours a week, but I don't want to complain. I have to go work from 6-11 tomorrow morning and I want to ask my manager if I can start doing Sat. & Mon. jobs each week and maybe Thursdays or whenever else too. That way = more church + more money.

Hopefully some muse will come along to strike my interests and I can get this blog going again!

The Uber-Feminist, Pro-Tomboy, Anti-Female Movement

It is appalling how many young girls and even grown women buy into the mistaken belief that motherly, gentle, "girly" girls are weak people and bad things to be. But the belief also goes that quick-tempered, aggressive, loud, immodest "tomboys" are better, because having womanly traits is for some reason wrong, just like boys being into playing war or something is wrong (assuming they're not unhealthily obsessed with it, obviously) but boys playing with dolls and makeup is supposed to be "good".

Women and especially girls often like to call themselves tomboys for rather irrelevant, silly things, like having an interest in sports (when I was in school, almost all of the jock girls WERE into nice hair and clothes), have no interest in fashion/makeup/cooking/child care (If you try not to look like a slob when you go out, you do care about fashion. Makeup isn't so important, but I fail to see how children and making good food are unimportant), don't like to dress up (most people don't). See? Little, general things like that do not make you a tomboy! Tomboys are pretty much men in female bodies, and almost all of the ones I've talked to, heard, or read about seem to have some general hostility towards more feminine girls, which makes sense- they are insecure about their own femininity, so they reject those who embrace it. It does not help at all that our society seems bent on encouraging girls to be boys and vice verse instead of being their natural selves. I've also noticed that a LOT of these tomboy types are very, very catty, judgmental, and even incredibly flirty and heavily desiring to appeal to males (to the point of becoming sex toys for them)- stereotypical "girl" traits. Ironic?

While I'm not into this myself, there is nothing wrong with girls having interests in sports, insects, action films, disinterest in homemaking-type activities or your appearance (though that will matter in situations such as job interviews), and such things typically considered to be what men like (or should like). However, going out of your way to disregard or even mock what is feminine or considered to be so and having an exaggerated interest in the aforementioned masculine activities/beliefs, is not OK. And that, dear people, is exactly what is going on now. Girls and women who embrace their natural, God-given femininity are generally seen as vapid, passive, and less worthy of respect, whereas more masculine, aggressive females are applauded. It is nearly always these females like this that hate lady-likeness, prefer hanging with guys because girls are "too dramatic/catty/random negative trait", and are very bitter and insecure about their own femininity, or, maybe, lack of. Being a lady is all about being motherly. Mothers are supposed to be loving, nurturing, sensitive, and gently stern. I'm sorry but, how in any faint way could any of those traits possibly be bad?

I think a small part of this problem- or maybe large, who knows?- has to do with the fact that many, many films centering around high school life have depicted the mean girls as being "girly". You know, their hair and makeup are always perfect, they're well-dressed, usually willing to fight over guys. (This stereotype, save for the last one obviously, is subjective, and therefore, not very true, in my opinion. The mean girls I went to school with had horrible clothes from Hollister and I couldn't stand their hairstyles and makeup! But you get the point.) But we can only control Hollywood so much, or even attempt to do so. Their determination to make things as neutral as possible for men and women is strong, and our half misguided society is buying into it eagerly.
It also doesn't help that men who are into "girl stuff", such as sewing, being well-dressed, cooking, being sensitive and quiet, etc. are made fun of. Most women claim they'd like a guy who is like that, but men tend to really snark at other men who are that way, especially younger boys. We need to ask ourselves: why is femininity being insulted? We may have come a long way from sexism in the 60s, but it's taken on a whole new twist now. We are as sexist as ever, if not more. These radical man-hating "feminists" who started the tomboy-worship movement as a way to become "equal" to men by becoming them are turning into what they originally hated in men! You don't need to hate men or call yourself a feminist to be like this; some of my own friends think they're tomboys (they are wrong, for reasons I listed) and some have implied they hate girly girls.

Honestly... that sexist, contrary sort of attitude just makes me want to be even girlier than I am. I already love makeup, cooking, kids, fashion, kawaii stuff, and beauty, and dislike sports and really active things, but it makes me want to not only act more feminine, but become a wife and mom so I can fully epitomize into the feminazi/tomboy antithesis. I am genuinely interested in and proud of being female, but even if this makes me as bad as the feminazis, I can be contrary.

Insecurity. Body Image. Bundles of rainbow and sunshine!

Obviously, insecurity and low self-esteem are nothing new, especially among girls. They're not even rare. The causes are usually something along the lines of domestic abuse, teasing in school, seeing those models on the runway or busty airbrushed-looking women in action films and feeling inferior- that sort of thing. But I've noticed the most "confident" girls who show how "proud" they are of their bodies by advertising them in various are nearly always the worse.

From my experience and observations (and seen and experienced this for quite awhile now), it's almost always overweight girls and "curvy" girls. (See pics below. I've already explained the difference between the two. I mean girls that have big boobs, wide hips, and some kind of smaller waist. Or at least they consider themselves curvy.) It's almost ironic. The latter will often claim that men prefer their body type because it's womanly, yet display themselves so much out of a miserable craving for attention.

Marilyn Monroe was/is loved for her body (which, while that was largely her own fault, is very sad), she hated herself. She was infamously insecure and disliked her appearance. I can see why: she was abused as a child, and used sex to get her career. These are both big, shiny, silver keys to insecurity and depression. I think she was unattractive and unhealthy-looking most of the time (obviously and most likely due to her depression) so I can see why she would think meaningless, promiscuous sex would bring her happiness. Girls with big boobs (and little to offer in the face department, especially) tend to use those twins to get what they want in life, quite simply. It's horrible, appalling, and sad, but very, very, very real.

In case you haven't noticed (as in, you don't know me well or somehow missed my layout here), I LOVE Audrey Hepburn. I tend to admire women like her. I can never stop singing her praises. She was the epitome of what I admire and consider beautiful: natural beauty (she needed no makeup to be as pretty as she was with it on, and had naturally nice features), she was the epitome of class and modesty (well, she did have an affair to my knowledge, I was most sorry to hear, but she kept is very quiet and I give her the benefit of the doubt about her salvation), she was exotic in body (healthy, slim, and naturally so! Especially at a time with Marilyn types were the "ideal", and now that obesity is largely what makes up the U.S.), and she took care of herself. See? I can hardly shut up about her. I partly admire her because physically she reminds me of me (elf face, fair, brunette, slim, etc.) but she was such a lady! But while she was, is, and always will be adored for her striking beauty, charming personality, genuine altruism, and films, she, too, suffered from a bad self-image. It could be because her father left her family at a young age (according to Dr. Dobson, girls with their fathers lovingly in their lives are less likely to have low self-esteem- did you know that?) and how her mother kept telling her she was nothing special physically (to keep her humble most likely, but need she have done that in such a cold way?), but who knows? She was insecure, but she never showed it like Marilyn, Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsay Lohan, and hundreds of immodest girls and even women do! But you know what's funny? I see much more women and girls built like those three who like to wear tons of makeup and hair products to 'improve' themselves trying to sell themselves for some much-needed attention than I do slender women, especially healthy ones that never need much makeup to look OK. Butterfaces (good body, bad face) /curvy women usually feel the need to get compliments to make themselves feel more attractive despite so many of them saying their body shapes/types/whatever are the best, yet more natural women who are thin and not so curvy, or just less so. This is NOT to bash curvy girls or praise slim, less-curvy women, but do you see what I'm saying? These women who are apparently less desirable by men (according to women, ironically) are less insecure and most often have more true confidence.

OK, I've ranted about about curvy girls and Audrey long enough. Now, about the fat girls (weird thing to say!)... They generally tend to focus on their boobs (being proud of them, showing them off, saying they're better than smaller sizes, etc.) are amazing and what men want for the exact same reasons the "curvy" girls do, but maybe even more so- because, yes, lots of people do like women with very noticeable curves, and while they are guys out there that genuinely like chubby or obese women, it's pretty safe to say more would prefer slim, curvy Anna types (ignoring the boob job, since, thank the Lord, most men don't like unnecessary surgery, at least when it's that noticeable). They may pretend that curvy means big/fat instead of having a small waist with wide hips and maybe a big chest to go with them, but that's said to sound more pleasing to their own ears. Each case is sad, but it appears to be growing worse as more people enable these types of people, so what on earth can we do? Tell them to keep wearing lots of makeup to hide behind and skimpy clothing since if they "got it" they should "flaunt it"?

I'm sorry if these blog makes me sound bitter or insecure about myself in any way. Truthfully, I can say I am one of the few teen girls I know who doesn't have low self-esteem or a bad outlook on my appearance, and I'm not the first to notice. I'm just disgusted and saddened by all this. Girls with slim frames and small chests (but slim frames and large chests can sometimes get off the hook) aren't allowed to feel good about ourselves because that might make men stop looking at girls like the other two for a second and therefore, cutting off their resource of craved attention that brings them the momentary satisfaction they crave. And no, I fully realize NOT all girls like either shape/type are like this. I've just seen so many. Maybe I just talk to and listen to the wrong people, but in the media, with pictures, videos, movies, interviews, songs, etc.- celebrities or ordinary ones online- where females blatantly toot their own horns and offer their bodies to get noticed, I am gonna see it inevitably. I wish girls would stop listening to the media so much, mainly for pop culture. It is generally shallow, sickly obsessed with immoral things, and nothing else. I wish their parents wouldn't bring problems into their lives and tell and show them as often as they can that they love them and are fine the way they are. I wish more boys would stop fixating on girls looking this way or that way or being this shape or that size and realize that not only are they not high and mighty enough to dictate what beauty and ugliness are objectively, but personality, intelligence, good health, class, and honestly a nice face with little to no makeup are better than cleavage, flirting, and pornstars. And I wish all types of beauty were appreciated, whether or not it's having generic features and DD cups or red hair or Asians or whatever!

Christina Hendricks as poster girl for what "real" women are... or are not

Well, it took me long enough to realize who this lady was, but I guess I looked her up a few months ago. She was an actor from the show Mad Men. Known for... are you ready?

Dyed hair and large breasts. ....Yes. She is clearly a breath of fresh, fresh air in the world of Hollywood.

While she may very well be a decent person with nothing worse done than wearing immodest outfits for magazines and sometimes on the red carpet, I can't see how she managed to become such a quick role model for overweight women, or the "sexiest woman alive" or, as the title mentioned, a poster girl for "real" women.

If you remember some of earlier posts about what curves are and are not, you probably also remember that in one of them, I made a reminder that 1) If it's born with lady parts, IT'S A REAL WOMAN. 2) Having large breasts, rolls, or "padding" on you has nothing to do with realness. It means you have a big chest, are overweight, or just have extra "padding" on you. 3) Not to bash her, but she's actually pretty far from "real" if you meant "realistic". Let's look at some examples:

Like most actors, she wears an enormous among of makeup she doesn't need. I don't find her very nice-looking but her face improves with less on, at least without the dramatic styled makeup (which rarely suits anyone anyway). It's pretty clear plastic surgery is involved, even without seeing younger photos of her with a significantly smaller chest (no, her being less skinny now does would not in any way make anyone's chest grow THAT much) but she also wears a very strong corset, padded push-up bras, and flattering dresses, because there's a thing called gravity that large breasts are far from being immune to. I'd also like to see how she looked with her natural blonde hair color, but if she's been dying it since she was young, I doubt it will show if she let her red fade away.

So.... a heavily made-up, airbrushed, dyed, already-huge-chested-plus-the-unneeded-help-of-a-push-up-bra woman is the new ideal and definition of what a real woman is? Can anyone else understand how I'm scared? This is how high and unrealistic the beauty standard is becoming... or standards.
"Curvy" shapes like hers (well, she is actually pear-shaped but  as it's "cooler" to claim you're hourglass shaped, she wants us to think she's hourglass, or else she wouldn't dress like one or buy those breasts) are rare. A lot of women will also not want to be made to feel inferior because their chests, whether A or DD, or not as large as her so-called perfect ones. And by the way, I'm sure that is not what she wants to be known as: a pair of huge breasts that acts sometimes. Granted, she does like to put them on display quite often, which is obviously her own doing, so I hope she doesn't complain when and if no one takes her seriously because they're too busy staring at/fantasizing about those breasts.

I understand NATURALLY big or fat women, few as there are, deserve role models with similar body types/shapes too, but I'm sorry- even though Christina is overweight, she is nothing like this:

She is big, mostly on the bottom, but not this kind of big. She is no more real than any slimmer or smaller-chested women or the woman above.

The true definition of curvy

This is getting very annoying. This, like the words thick, big, voluptuous, etc., are being used to make fat girls feel better about themselves (and as a market ploy that is working brilliantly, I might add) which I think they should if they're healthy, but it's very much incorrectly used, and in doing so, they're making women who are actually curvy (thin women, who are usually curvier-looking since you can see their forms better due to less fat on their frame, and yes, chubby and fat women can be curvy too) sound shapeless by that definition.

Let me start with this: curviness is NOT subjective. Being curvy is not a body type. It's your shape. Your bone structure is what makes you curvy. Saying the word "curvy" is subjective is the exact same as something along this imaginary conversation:

Person A: I think squares are my favorite shape. I love their 4 sides.
Person B: I don't think squares have 4 sides.
Person A: Well, they do. That's a fact.
Person B: NO. Just because squares have four sides to YOU doesn't mean we ALL have to think that. To ME, squares have FIVE sides.
Person A: It doesn't matter what you think it is- a square is SHAPED with 4 sides. You wouldn't say a triangle, meaning 3 sides, had 4 sides, would you?
Person B: Actually, yes. To ME, a triangle has 4 sides. That's just my opinion, though. Now stop forcing your opinion on me.

See what I mean? I've seen (and sometimes been in) countless debates like this. Curvy implies lots of curves (which as I pointed out in my first rant, every woman technically has, but some are more, shall we say, noticeable or prominent than others), especially in an hourglass shape, but pears and cones (which are often confused with hourglasses by people who don't know how to understand women's measurements) can be curvy too, like Jessica Simpson (cone) and Alexis Bledel (pear).  Honestly, do you think this

 looks anything like this?

(Note: While Mo'nique does not in fact have an hourglass- her measurements according to celebrity fashion designer Bradley Bayou- and isn't curvy, this is not a personal jab at her.)

No, it does not. That was only one example but it's a good one. These women have hourglass shapes (and I'm not gonna use the overused, overrated examples like Beyonce, Marilyn Monroe, Christina Hendricks, or Kim Kardashian- the last two who happen to have bought their breasts and Kim, her rear), and yes, these measurements have been checked:

Pear shapes:

Cone shapes:

and for the sake of some bigger ones that still have actually curvy figures (sorry there's only 2, but there actually aren't that many to find):

I could go on, but there are literally tons of slim curvy women. There are actually lots of curvy women (well, maybe not "lots", really, but you get what I mean) besides slim ones, and it has zero to do with how much fat you have or how big your breasts are, as you can see. And let's remember there are multitudes of beautiful women with collumn shapes! It's a pretty common shape, so surely you must like at least one. Reese Witherspoon, Liv Tyler, Charlize Theron, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Coolidge, Demi Moore, there's quite a few stars with 'em.