You're Not Marching For Me

Courtesy of National Review

I'm way late to post, but even now at the end of the month, everyone's got an opinion on the Women's March that took place the day after President Trump's inauguration. For better or worse, it's stirred up some attention. Women all over the country marched for our "right" to free birth control and abortion and some other issues such as the wage gap (which has already been debunked several times, anyway).

Now, decent health care is one thing... But I don't want or support free birth control or abortions. How can these people claim to fight for those of us who don't want it?

Maybe because they weren't actually fighting for all women, making the title "Women's March" an odd one. Because for all the passionate signs and chanting done and women claiming to care about other women, pro-life women were told they were uninvited to this march, even pro-lifers who identified as feminist themselves.

And gaslighting us by condescendingly informing us we are either too stupid to know how hopelessly oppressed we are, or too privileged to sympathize with the oppressed (well... which one is it? You can't pick and choose someone's social and class status when it suits you) does not make anyone want to support your cause.

Incredibly, the March for Life was able to gain support or show up without any vulgar costumes or signs or telling someone how unwelcome they are. Almost like they're able to put their money where their mouth is.

I was unable to go to the MFL- the real Women's March that fights for rights some women (the unborn) do not actually have, unlike just demanding free birth control for people who decided to have sex- but I was in spirit, and I feel far more empowered to align myself with them.

DIY- Craft of the Day: Sensory Bottles (aka Calm Down Bottles)

I needed something easy to make for my niece's Christmas present in addition to a couple Disney Little Golden Books and a book about Goldilocks I got her, and since she has and is getting more toys and clothes than she needs, those were out of the question. So I came across these:

Sorry about my phone's clarity. I turned on both lights!

Sensory bottles! Stimulating things for kids to amuse themselves with and relax when having a fit. I had trouble not staring at the glitter one in the middle myself, it was so soothing. The beads and googly eyes have a nice sound, and the pom-poms just look neat, I guess?

A 'recipe' for the glitter bottle can be found right here. Enjoy!

The Myth of the Catty Female Part I: Why Do We Love Catfights?

They're everywhere- reality TV (where adults behaving like 5 year olds get rich for it!), action movies, romance novels. Female competition. Girl on girl hate. Drama queens. Whatever you want to call it, we as a society seem to love it. People pay to watch women fight and backstab on shows like those Housewives of _____ and everyone seemed to enjoy a good female fisticuffs in middle or high school at least once- usually over a guy who always seemed to be sitting back enjoying he show, didn't he?

That's just it, isn't it? It's usually to be seen as attractive, the coolest, the best, in some guy's eyes, while he feels like a rockstar for encouraging two girls or women to argue over him (not all guys do this, I realize, and obviously not all women argue just over a guy!). God told Eve she would always "desire her husband". I don't think He necessarily meant sexually. I think the curse of human women is that as a whole, we're unnecessarily driven to seek male approval and attention. And yes, I mean "curse". It is in no way a good thing to obsess or fight over anyone's approval, regardless of their sex.

Sometimes, as I stated, this leads some immature women to do immature things for a guy. I know it can be a huge ego boost when you're the lucky lady. Immature guys may attempt to compliment you by saying you're "not like other girls", which may make said immature woman feel special. While Nice Guys who aren't all aggressive, stupid, and macho like Those Other Guys and love to hear you talk about your feelings and life because they're so sensitive do exist, they seem to in smaller groups, and they aren't usually as discussed or valued as the Guy's Girl (which I shall refer to her as from now on).

Why? Why is it men's opinions seem to be valued over women's? Again, the Bible speaks the truth, though I also have to somewhat agree with feminists that society just tends to prefer masculinity over femininity in most ways, despite the very feminist direction the West is heading into.

So, back to the catfights. I don't know about you, but I hate them. I love other women and wish I had a ton of them as best friends. Female friends as just the best. I think our general dislike of conflict makes them good listeners who are less likely to judge, usually, and they can give some of the most soothing words and sensible advice without coming off as lecturing you. They're fun, and they get why staying up late making a junk food smorgasbord to go with a Disney marathon and window shopping and trying to make new desserts (sometimes unsuccessfully) and having those deep conversations about life at 3 AM are some of the best ways to bond. I, personally, just relate to other girls better than guys. I've tried befriending some guys, but it rarely worked. If they didn't move away, they turned out to be judgmental jerks or tried to date me instead. That's my experience though; I know many guy friends rock! Just remember men are no more perfect than women are. They judge, start fights, and break off relationships for petty reasons, too.

I forget where I read this, but in some book years ago the author mentioned how two girls who from different countries and shared no common language could bond within- what, an hour? Whether or not it's factually true, I've seen similar things happen. Women love to connect. Our bonds we form with one another can be some of the strongest on earth. Which is absolutely not to knock men as friends or friendships between men. But female friends at just at heart, different from men. And that's OK. They don't need to be the same because they're not.


So many self-contradiction stereotypes and opinions of women that don't match up. I've already written more than I'd originally planned and still havent gotten to some points, so I think a part II is in order. Because this is an issue that's angered me for quite some time, it's rarely discussed much less promoted, and it needs to be said, even if only a few of you will ever read my blog. If it changes even one person's mind, I'll be ecstatic.

Do any of you have female friendships you value? What are some of your favorite female friendships in history? Do you tend to prefer women as friends?

Do Christian Wives "Owe" Their Husbands Sex?

 I’m not usually one to get up in arms when another Christian thinks something I don’t, and normally I really think this lady is right on (and I do think her intentions are good) but this post just made me a little sick to read, and more so the comments section. I remember also once reading a very fundamental Christian guy flat-out saying on his site that it is indeed a sin to not have sex with your husband.

Because this is a pretty serious topic, I'm going to be blunt here. I don’t care if this offends someone: women and men, you do not “owe” your spouse sex. It is not a “sin” to not want to “pump them dry” as that lady’s husband encourages us to do. It’s not God’s will for you to be a sex slave of any kind. Marriage is about sacrifice and God first, enjoyment second. It isn’t godly to guilt people into sex, telling them they’re being a bad spouse if they don’t feel like hopping into bed every five minutes with you. That's flat-out emotional manipulation.

And what utter nonsense to pretend women have NO temptations! Are you kidding? Like we have never ogled shirtless men? We have temptations with sin, too. Christians, stop treating men as helpless babies who have no self-control and blaming women for them not giving their husbands “enough”. I say this to wives as well but frankly, as much as I hate to admit it, with a lot of Christians it’s usually women they see as responsible for this. And husbands, you, too, are not obliged to feel guilted into doing something you are not up for.

I am not married yet (though I hope one day to be), so I know some might say I have no experience to back this up. Do I really need it to point out sin? I don't think so. It is just selfishness and rigid legalism behind this attitude and I do not believe for a minute one should be married, divorced or single to have the authority to acknowledge this sinful attitude.

The Hatred of Big Families

I'm neither a mom nor am I married. But I can't wait to be. I know any kids, much less lots of them, aren't for everything. Even marriage isn't as popular an idea as it used to be, with the ever-growing divorce rates discouraging people out of commitment. But while we tell each other, "It's OK to not want a family and settle down. Chase your dreams! Do what YOU want and respect others for not wanting to be parents!" we sure don't seem to think that those of us who DO want that deserve to have our choice respected.

I like reading blogs about moms of large families, particularly ones who homeschool. It's so different from what I know and just interesting to learn about, though I personally don't plan to have more than three kids tops. I understand not everyone wants a big family or thinks they can afford one.

But a dislike of multiple kids and suspicion towards adults who want them in our culture has started and just kept growing, it would seem. I often hear mothers of these families talk about the kinds of comments they'd get from friends or even random people at the store:

"Are they ALL yours?"
"You're done having kids now, right?"

And so on.

Some questions are just curious, some are just plain rude and nosy. Strange, for a culture that's always quick to get defensive and say "Who are you to judge? It's none of your business what I do! It's not hurting anyone else!" we don't seem to hold that to big families also. Some people seem to just feel... offended by them.

Why? What's so offensive about many kids? Because unless they can be manipulated for political agendas to garner sympathy, our culture just plain hates children. They're too innocent for its obsession with sex, and most of all, they demand us to sacrifice our own wants for their needs which contradicts the me-first culture here.

Nobody's attacking anyone if they don't want a big family or even kids at all (though I realize some people do get bothered for not having any and they should be left alone too), so why don't we extend the same courtesy to big families?

Happy Father's Day 2015!

I wish I had thought to do this for Mother's Day... Maybe I can do a special moms post later on as a belated post. In honor of one of the least appreciated major holidays in the USA, here are some of my favorite fictional dads and grandfathers (in no order except for Atticus and Ned)!

1. Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird
2. Eddard Stark, A Game of Thrones
3. King Triton, The Little Mermaid
4. George Bailey, It's A Wonderful Life
5. Guido Orefice, Life is Beautiful
6. King Stefan, Sleeping Beauty
7. Wilfred Mott, Doctor Who
8. Pacha, The Emperor's New Groove
9. Maurice, Beauty and the Beast
10. James, The Princess and the Frog
11. Charles Ingalls, Little House series
12. Professor Trevor Broom, Hellboy
13. Pete Tyler, Doctor Who
14. Lord Archibald Craven, The Secret Garden
15. Mufasa, The Lion King
16. Edward Walker, The Village

Stealing Culture?

There's an idea floating around the 'Net that seems to have stemmed from liberal arts colleges and the like- that instead of America being a melting pot of cultures and traditions where we are free to share cultures and engage in others, that doing so is wrong and harms said culture. This idea is called "cultural appropriation".

Though I guess I should specify: it only counts if it's white people doing it, apparently. Especially white Americans (the young Social Justice Bloggers who spout all this seem to not realize there are countries beyond America but you wouldn't know that with how US-centric they all are). If a white person eats a taco, by golly, the entire history of Mexico is being erased. If a white person wears dreadlocks, Jamaicans everywhere cry out in anguish (never mind that dreads are neither a 'black thing', they're religious, nor did blacks invent it; Romans and Vikings, for example, wore them too). And so on.

If a Chinese woman wears a dirndl for Halloween, however, this doesn't count as stealing culture, apparently. A black man can riverdance and it's not hurting anyone. Someone of Mestizo descent can study ballet and Russians don't suffer from it. Hmm. It's almost like a single individual participating in a foreign culture isn't actually hurting it. It's almost like, yes, cultures should be respected, but they're also meant to be shared, generally. Don't get upset over this:

If you have no problem with this:

I don't think either of the wearers were being disrespectful or trying to "steal" culture.

Hmm. It's almost like this is just another pathetic attempt to drive the wedge between races and ethnicities down a little harder. Listen, if a non-white person can celebrate Oktoberfest or St. Lucia's Day or St. Patrick's Day or eat pierogis and such, a white person can buy a kimono, eat dim sum, and celebrate el Dia de los Muertos as well. Whole histories and civilizations are not going to collapse because Becky in Florida or Ling in Hong Kong are eating foreign foods and buying traditional attire from different countries.

We can share and learn from other cultures. That's what America was meant for. And you don't even have to be American to appreciate that.