New Year

So, once again, I've been pretty lazy about writing. A few months lazy, in fact. Well, I think God wants me to try writing more, so that's what I'll do.

But inspiration for a subject rarely hits me. I usually only feel like writing when I'm either annoyed at something, or it's something fun, like clothes and makeup (see my other blog for details). Plus, when you're annoyed or angered, it's kind of hard to write fairly and respectfully.

But I will try to make a point to write at least 1-2 times a week, and not just one short paragraph or anything. I don't believe in New Year's Revolutions, partly because I never even think of making any, but also because you shouldn't do that once a year. You should ALWAYS try to make changes for the better! So although it's well after New Year's Day, here's a few of mine:

1. Write weekly in this blog, not only to be informative but keep my writing muscle strong. It's also good for venting.

2. Exercise EVERY day. Doesn't matter how tired I am. Just listening to music in my room and practicing my dancing is a start. After that it'll be easier to do more stuff like Piloxing.

3. Develop more patience. As if this isn't hard enough in real life for most people, it's ever so much more trying online. So in relation to #1, whenever I feel the need to tell someone off as rudely as they are being to me, I'll take a quick break to listen to some songs and do some cardio. It's a great destressor and gives me time to think through what I want to say. This will also help my relationship with my dad, because I know I do get very impatient with him.

4. Eat better. This is very hard considering my dad buys pop and stuff that is less than healthy for you, and if you put it in the fridge, chances are I WILL eat it! It's not even that we hate healthy foods; quite the opposite, we love them. I noticed how much more satisfied I felt after eating carrot and celery sticks as opposed to chips, which fill you up but don't satisfy you.

5. Write in my "question" journal every day. We're taking a class called "Hearing God's Voice" at church Wednesday nights and just trying it for 2 days has me convinced it works- if you're willing to be patient and try.

Well! It's certainly been a long time since my last entry, hasn't it? I mostly only get inspired to write something when I'm angry or annoyed at something I feel matters. So far, a lot has changed for me (well, some things) but not necessarily enough to write about. Although, I do have some drafts saved. Maybe I'll go back to them.

So, I have my first job! It's stocking at the general store by my house. I'm so glad it's close. Unfortunately, since I'm not good at working the register (it is possible to not be good at counting change, trust me) and don't like it much, the main days for stocking are on Sat., Sun., and Mon. I did once on Thursday too. So I've been missing church every week for almost 3 months to work for 5 hours a week, but I don't want to complain. I have to go work from 6-11 tomorrow morning and I want to ask my manager if I can start doing Sat. & Mon. jobs each week and maybe Thursdays or whenever else too. That way = more church + more money.

Hopefully some muse will come along to strike my interests and I can get this blog going again!

The Uber-Feminist, Pro-Tomboy, Anti-Female Movement

It is appalling how many young girls and even grown women buy into the mistaken belief that motherly, gentle, "girly" girls are weak people and bad things to be. But the belief also goes that quick-tempered, aggressive, loud, immodest "tomboys" are better, because having womanly traits is for some reason wrong, just like boys being into playing war or something is wrong (assuming they're not unhealthily obsessed with it, obviously) but boys playing with dolls and makeup is supposed to be "good".

Women and especially girls often like to call themselves tomboys for rather irrelevant, silly things, like having an interest in sports (when I was in school, almost all of the jock girls WERE into nice hair and clothes), have no interest in fashion/makeup/cooking/child care (If you try not to look like a slob when you go out, you do care about fashion. Makeup isn't so important, but I fail to see how children and making good food are unimportant), don't like to dress up (most people don't). See? Little, general things like that do not make you a tomboy! Tomboys are pretty much men in female bodies, and almost all of the ones I've talked to, heard, or read about seem to have some general hostility towards more feminine girls, which makes sense- they are insecure about their own femininity, so they reject those who embrace it. It does not help at all that our society seems bent on encouraging girls to be boys and vice verse instead of being their natural selves. I've also noticed that a LOT of these tomboy types are very, very catty, judgmental, and even incredibly flirty and heavily desiring to appeal to males (to the point of becoming sex toys for them)- stereotypical "girl" traits. Ironic?

While I'm not into this myself, there is nothing wrong with girls having interests in sports, insects, action films, disinterest in homemaking-type activities or your appearance (though that will matter in situations such as job interviews), and such things typically considered to be what men like (or should like). However, going out of your way to disregard or even mock what is feminine or considered to be so and having an exaggerated interest in the aforementioned masculine activities/beliefs, is not OK. And that, dear people, is exactly what is going on now. Girls and women who embrace their natural, God-given femininity are generally seen as vapid, passive, and less worthy of respect, whereas more masculine, aggressive females are applauded. It is nearly always these females like this that hate lady-likeness, prefer hanging with guys because girls are "too dramatic/catty/random negative trait", and are very bitter and insecure about their own femininity, or, maybe, lack of. Being a lady is all about being motherly. Mothers are supposed to be loving, nurturing, sensitive, and gently stern. I'm sorry but, how in any faint way could any of those traits possibly be bad?

I think a small part of this problem- or maybe large, who knows?- has to do with the fact that many, many films centering around high school life have depicted the mean girls as being "girly". You know, their hair and makeup are always perfect, they're well-dressed, usually willing to fight over guys. (This stereotype, save for the last one obviously, is subjective, and therefore, not very true, in my opinion. The mean girls I went to school with had horrible clothes from Hollister and I couldn't stand their hairstyles and makeup! But you get the point.) But we can only control Hollywood so much, or even attempt to do so. Their determination to make things as neutral as possible for men and women is strong, and our half misguided society is buying into it eagerly.
It also doesn't help that men who are into "girl stuff", such as sewing, being well-dressed, cooking, being sensitive and quiet, etc. are made fun of. Most women claim they'd like a guy who is like that, but men tend to really snark at other men who are that way, especially younger boys. We need to ask ourselves: why is femininity being insulted? We may have come a long way from sexism in the 60s, but it's taken on a whole new twist now. We are as sexist as ever, if not more. These radical man-hating "feminists" who started the tomboy-worship movement as a way to become "equal" to men by becoming them are turning into what they originally hated in men! You don't need to hate men or call yourself a feminist to be like this; some of my own friends think they're tomboys (they are wrong, for reasons I listed) and some have implied they hate girly girls.

Honestly... that sexist, contrary sort of attitude just makes me want to be even girlier than I am. I already love makeup, cooking, kids, fashion, kawaii stuff, and beauty, and dislike sports and really active things, but it makes me want to not only act more feminine, but become a wife and mom so I can fully epitomize into the feminazi/tomboy antithesis. I am genuinely interested in and proud of being female, but even if this makes me as bad as the feminazis, I can be contrary.

Insecurity. Body Image. Bundles of rainbow and sunshine!

Obviously, insecurity and low self-esteem are nothing new, especially among girls. They're not even rare. The causes are usually something along the lines of domestic abuse, teasing in school, seeing those models on the runway or busty airbrushed-looking women in action films and feeling inferior- that sort of thing. But I've noticed the most "confident" girls who show how "proud" they are of their bodies by advertising them in various are nearly always the worse.

From my experience and observations (and seen and experienced this for quite awhile now), it's almost always overweight girls and "curvy" girls. (See pics below. I've already explained the difference between the two. I mean girls that have big boobs, wide hips, and some kind of smaller waist. Or at least they consider themselves curvy.) It's almost ironic. The latter will often claim that men prefer their body type because it's womanly, yet display themselves so much out of a miserable craving for attention.

Marilyn Monroe was/is loved for her body (which, while that was largely her own fault, is very sad), she hated herself. She was infamously insecure and disliked her appearance. I can see why: she was abused as a child, and used sex to get her career. These are both big, shiny, silver keys to insecurity and depression. I think she was unattractive and unhealthy-looking most of the time (obviously and most likely due to her depression) so I can see why she would think meaningless, promiscuous sex would bring her happiness. Girls with big boobs (and little to offer in the face department, especially) tend to use those twins to get what they want in life, quite simply. It's horrible, appalling, and sad, but very, very, very real.

In case you haven't noticed (as in, you don't know me well or somehow missed my layout here), I LOVE Audrey Hepburn. I tend to admire women like her. I can never stop singing her praises. She was the epitome of what I admire and consider beautiful: natural beauty (she needed no makeup to be as pretty as she was with it on, and had naturally nice features), she was the epitome of class and modesty (well, she did have an affair to my knowledge, I was most sorry to hear, but she kept is very quiet and I give her the benefit of the doubt about her salvation), she was exotic in body (healthy, slim, and naturally so! Especially at a time with Marilyn types were the "ideal", and now that obesity is largely what makes up the U.S.), and she took care of herself. See? I can hardly shut up about her. I partly admire her because physically she reminds me of me (elf face, fair, brunette, slim, etc.) but she was such a lady! But while she was, is, and always will be adored for her striking beauty, charming personality, genuine altruism, and films, she, too, suffered from a bad self-image. It could be because her father left her family at a young age (according to Dr. Dobson, girls with their fathers lovingly in their lives are less likely to have low self-esteem- did you know that?) and how her mother kept telling her she was nothing special physically (to keep her humble most likely, but need she have done that in such a cold way?), but who knows? She was insecure, but she never showed it like Marilyn, Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsay Lohan, and hundreds of immodest girls and even women do! But you know what's funny? I see much more women and girls built like those three who like to wear tons of makeup and hair products to 'improve' themselves trying to sell themselves for some much-needed attention than I do slender women, especially healthy ones that never need much makeup to look OK. Butterfaces (good body, bad face) /curvy women usually feel the need to get compliments to make themselves feel more attractive despite so many of them saying their body shapes/types/whatever are the best, yet more natural women who are thin and not so curvy, or just less so. This is NOT to bash curvy girls or praise slim, less-curvy women, but do you see what I'm saying? These women who are apparently less desirable by men (according to women, ironically) are less insecure and most often have more true confidence.

OK, I've ranted about about curvy girls and Audrey long enough. Now, about the fat girls (weird thing to say!)... They generally tend to focus on their boobs (being proud of them, showing them off, saying they're better than smaller sizes, etc.) are amazing and what men want for the exact same reasons the "curvy" girls do, but maybe even more so- because, yes, lots of people do like women with very noticeable curves, and while they are guys out there that genuinely like chubby or obese women, it's pretty safe to say more would prefer slim, curvy Anna types (ignoring the boob job, since, thank the Lord, most men don't like unnecessary surgery, at least when it's that noticeable). They may pretend that curvy means big/fat instead of having a small waist with wide hips and maybe a big chest to go with them, but that's said to sound more pleasing to their own ears. Each case is sad, but it appears to be growing worse as more people enable these types of people, so what on earth can we do? Tell them to keep wearing lots of makeup to hide behind and skimpy clothing since if they "got it" they should "flaunt it"?

I'm sorry if these blog makes me sound bitter or insecure about myself in any way. Truthfully, I can say I am one of the few teen girls I know who doesn't have low self-esteem or a bad outlook on my appearance, and I'm not the first to notice. I'm just disgusted and saddened by all this. Girls with slim frames and small chests (but slim frames and large chests can sometimes get off the hook) aren't allowed to feel good about ourselves because that might make men stop looking at girls like the other two for a second and therefore, cutting off their resource of craved attention that brings them the momentary satisfaction they crave. And no, I fully realize NOT all girls like either shape/type are like this. I've just seen so many. Maybe I just talk to and listen to the wrong people, but in the media, with pictures, videos, movies, interviews, songs, etc.- celebrities or ordinary ones online- where females blatantly toot their own horns and offer their bodies to get noticed, I am gonna see it inevitably. I wish girls would stop listening to the media so much, mainly for pop culture. It is generally shallow, sickly obsessed with immoral things, and nothing else. I wish their parents wouldn't bring problems into their lives and tell and show them as often as they can that they love them and are fine the way they are. I wish more boys would stop fixating on girls looking this way or that way or being this shape or that size and realize that not only are they not high and mighty enough to dictate what beauty and ugliness are objectively, but personality, intelligence, good health, class, and honestly a nice face with little to no makeup are better than cleavage, flirting, and pornstars. And I wish all types of beauty were appreciated, whether or not it's having generic features and DD cups or red hair or Asians or whatever!

Christina Hendricks as poster girl for what "real" women are... or are not

Well, it took me long enough to realize who this lady was, but I guess I looked her up a few months ago. She was an actor from the show Mad Men. Known for... are you ready?

Dyed hair and large breasts. ....Yes. She is clearly a breath of fresh, fresh air in the world of Hollywood.

While she may very well be a decent person with nothing worse done than wearing immodest outfits for magazines and sometimes on the red carpet, I can't see how she managed to become such a quick role model for overweight women, or the "sexiest woman alive" or, as the title mentioned, a poster girl for "real" women.

If you remember some of earlier posts about what curves are and are not, you probably also remember that in one of them, I made a reminder that 1) If it's born with lady parts, IT'S A REAL WOMAN. 2) Having large breasts, rolls, or "padding" on you has nothing to do with realness. It means you have a big chest, are overweight, or just have extra "padding" on you. 3) Not to bash her, but she's actually pretty far from "real" if you meant "realistic". Let's look at some examples:

Like most actors, she wears an enormous among of makeup she doesn't need. I don't find her very nice-looking but her face improves with less on, at least without the dramatic styled makeup (which rarely suits anyone anyway). It's pretty clear plastic surgery is involved, even without seeing younger photos of her with a significantly smaller chest (no, her being less skinny now does would not in any way make anyone's chest grow THAT much) but she also wears a very strong corset, padded push-up bras, and flattering dresses, because there's a thing called gravity that large breasts are far from being immune to. I'd also like to see how she looked with her natural blonde hair color, but if she's been dying it since she was young, I doubt it will show if she let her red fade away.

So.... a heavily made-up, airbrushed, dyed, already-huge-chested-plus-the-unneeded-help-of-a-push-up-bra woman is the new ideal and definition of what a real woman is? Can anyone else understand how I'm scared? This is how high and unrealistic the beauty standard is becoming... or standards.
"Curvy" shapes like hers (well, she is actually pear-shaped but  as it's "cooler" to claim you're hourglass shaped, she wants us to think she's hourglass, or else she wouldn't dress like one or buy those breasts) are rare. A lot of women will also not want to be made to feel inferior because their chests, whether A or DD, or not as large as her so-called perfect ones. And by the way, I'm sure that is not what she wants to be known as: a pair of huge breasts that acts sometimes. Granted, she does like to put them on display quite often, which is obviously her own doing, so I hope she doesn't complain when and if no one takes her seriously because they're too busy staring at/fantasizing about those breasts.

I understand NATURALLY big or fat women, few as there are, deserve role models with similar body types/shapes too, but I'm sorry- even though Christina is overweight, she is nothing like this:

She is big, mostly on the bottom, but not this kind of big. She is no more real than any slimmer or smaller-chested women or the woman above.

The true definition of curvy

This is getting very annoying. This, like the words thick, big, voluptuous, etc., are being used to make fat girls feel better about themselves (and as a market ploy that is working brilliantly, I might add) which I think they should if they're healthy, but it's very much incorrectly used, and in doing so, they're making women who are actually curvy (thin women, who are usually curvier-looking since you can see their forms better due to less fat on their frame, and yes, chubby and fat women can be curvy too) sound shapeless by that definition.

Let me start with this: curviness is NOT subjective. Being curvy is not a body type. It's your shape. Your bone structure is what makes you curvy. Saying the word "curvy" is subjective is the exact same as something along this imaginary conversation:

Person A: I think squares are my favorite shape. I love their 4 sides.
Person B: I don't think squares have 4 sides.
Person A: Well, they do. That's a fact.
Person B: NO. Just because squares have four sides to YOU doesn't mean we ALL have to think that. To ME, squares have FIVE sides.
Person A: It doesn't matter what you think it is- a square is SHAPED with 4 sides. You wouldn't say a triangle, meaning 3 sides, had 4 sides, would you?
Person B: Actually, yes. To ME, a triangle has 4 sides. That's just my opinion, though. Now stop forcing your opinion on me.

See what I mean? I've seen (and sometimes been in) countless debates like this. Curvy implies lots of curves (which as I pointed out in my first rant, every woman technically has, but some are more, shall we say, noticeable or prominent than others), especially in an hourglass shape, but pears and cones (which are often confused with hourglasses by people who don't know how to understand women's measurements) can be curvy too, like Jessica Simpson (cone) and Alexis Bledel (pear).  Honestly, do you think this

 looks anything like this?

(Note: While Mo'nique does not in fact have an hourglass- her measurements according to celebrity fashion designer Bradley Bayou- and isn't curvy, this is not a personal jab at her.)

No, it does not. That was only one example but it's a good one. These women have hourglass shapes (and I'm not gonna use the overused, overrated examples like Beyonce, Marilyn Monroe, Christina Hendricks, or Kim Kardashian- the last two who happen to have bought their breasts and Kim, her rear), and yes, these measurements have been checked:

Pear shapes:

Cone shapes:

and for the sake of some bigger ones that still have actually curvy figures (sorry there's only 2, but there actually aren't that many to find):

I could go on, but there are literally tons of slim curvy women. There are actually lots of curvy women (well, maybe not "lots", really, but you get what I mean) besides slim ones, and it has zero to do with how much fat you have or how big your breasts are, as you can see. And let's remember there are multitudes of beautiful women with collumn shapes! It's a pretty common shape, so surely you must like at least one. Reese Witherspoon, Liv Tyler, Charlize Theron, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Coolidge, Demi Moore, there's quite a few stars with 'em.

Guys who say they prefer little/no makeup to a lot... no

About, say, 90% of guys will say they like little to no makeup in opposition to a lot. Yeah... no. About 80% at least of those guys will be lying through there teeth to not sound shallow (which they are). I'm lucky enough that the person I like truly hates caked-on makeup as much as I do, if not even more, but he's in the minority sadly.

Guys, this is not to bash you or these girls, but you cannot tell your girlfriends and female friends (assuming married men are man enough to not do this) that you like them with no makeup or a little bit only, and then constantly remark about celebrities or other girls you find "hot" that really pile it on

^This is attractive, 5 gallons of makeup, per feature, plus hair products? I remember my dad once saying something about girls who wear so much that the next morning, it looks like a clown slept on their pillow instead of them. It's true- why would you want that? If you genuinely like girlfriend or girl friend for who she is, you wouldn't want to be friends with her just because you liked how she looked because she's already fine the way she is... right? Then why do you insinuate to them that women who wear lots of makeup are better?

Guys who like makeup-masks, stop pretending you're not shallow. Guys who actually like little to none used, I love you, and you're right- natural is better. If you need 50 pounds of makeup to hide what lies beneath, that's not attractiveness. That's what works in a circus.